monolike | IC CONTACT

Some high elves fled to the human kingdom, and they were only kept sane by immense willpower and prayer. But the rest of us, especially the young ones-- we had no choice. When our elders showed us how to... [He hesitates, visibly trembling now.] ... how to take mana from other things, we had to do it, even if it hurt them. Even if it drained them dry and killed them.

-- you see, right? I'm a monster. As long as I'm here, I have to feed on other people. Things like me shouldn't be allowed around seraphim at all, but I was just so happy to talk to someone, I...

[He covers his face and falls silent. It's a lot of information to dump on someone, and he knows that.]

[So that's what he'd meant.

Sorey has heard something similar; when Stefan had confessed to him in the shuttle, quiet and ashamed, that he drank blood to survive. Idly Sorey wonders if Belthazar has killed people by devouring their mana before he dismisses it as irrelevant. No matter what happened before, it's clear he doesn't want to do it any more.

Still, Sorey can't just respond as blithely as he did with Stefan before. If it was about something other than the very stuff that makes up his friends and family, he wouldn't be as cautious about this, but...]

You were lonely. ...I don't think you should punish yourself for that.

[Sorey sighs through his nose, pressing the heels of his palms down against his knees. Geez...he'd thought Belthazar was frightened he'd hurt Mikleo because of the malevolence, not...this.]

This...feeding on other people's mana. How are you doing it now?

I have... an arrangement with someone. He imbues a crystal with his mana and I draw it out of there, so there's no pain involved. [He doesn't mention who it is. It's probably not that hard to figure out, anyway.] But it wasn't always like that. I had to take some from Hiro, which was terrible.

This was not a problem until I disappeared from the Fleet for a few months. Before then, I had a gift-- a mana crystal that would recharge through solar energy. It was gone along with all my other belongings when I returned.

[wow that supremely really sucks a lot]

And I guess there's no alternatives or anything, or you'd probably have already been using them. I see.

[Sorey blows out a breath.] Okay. Uh...so, what are the options available to you? Just finding someone you can take mana from? [Because this is what you were worried about, right? Sorey will help you out man.]

[Yes. Yes it does.]

Someone or something. It doesn't hurt people to imbue items with a small amount of magical power, but it's hard to ask for and harder to teach them. Feeding directly from the source is a last resort; there's always a risk of losing control and taking too much.

[Especially with a creature of pure mana. Light, he can't even imagine what he'd feel. He'd probably be trippin' balls.

Sorey isn't screaming or throwing things at him yet, though he seems a little apprehensive. It's... something.]

The verdant planets we've found, though-- each one has had an abundance of mana. If only I could bring a little piece of that with me... I wouldn't have to do this anymore.

...I have a crystal from that shipwreck planet we were just at. [He's been hanging onto it for Edna's spot in the shrine, but if Belthazar can use it then of course Sorey knows where it's going.]

It might have mana in it, but I don't know if it'll replenish it like the rest of the planet did.

[None of the plants they took retained any magical properties...]

Hiro and I were working on the solar crystal before someone with great power offered to help me. I'm afraid of being indebted to someone like that a second time; he was not very trustworthy, even though he helped me. Black dragons always want something in return.

Oh don't worry about that either! Seraphim imbue objects with mana all the time; it's how they make physical things invisible to humans without resonance. I'm sure Mikleo, or even any of the others would be happy to do it for you! [THIS IS AWESOME, they can purify Belthazar and help keep him healthy! Finally, something they can actually make better!]

[Though he's fine with Eithan right now, having a backup seems like a good plan. And besides that-- a crystal from a verdant planet might be the critical first step to making a solar converter. He wishes he had Hiro's brilliant mind beside him. Perhaps none of this would have happened.]

... Are you sure? They wouldn't-- think I was a monster?

[What's the difference between him and a hellion?]

[Sorey fiddles with the tea service, to have something to do with his hands. Before he would've declared loudly that of course not, of course Belthazar isn't a monster no matter what. Although Sorey still believes that, having been a monster himself now he...he thinks he can understand, a little bit.]

Seraphim are incredible. They might seem really similar to humans or other mortal people, but their perspectives are so different. [Sorey picks up his teacup, just to have its weight in his hands.] They'll forgive just about anyone of anything. Even things that don't need to be forgiven.

[He believes Sorey, even if it's not a loud declaration. Belthazar's never had a real friendship with something older than him, something like an elemental. He's never been that special.]

... Thank you.

[He wraps his hands around his own teacup. They're small and shaky, but they seem to gain strength the longer they're still.]

I don't think I can tell them. I hate to put the burden on you, but I think I might fly into hysterics if I had to face Mikleo.

Edited 2017-01-22 22:42 (UTC)

It's okay. If you want me to tell them, just so they're aware, I don't mind.

[Sorey sighs and takes a sip. The tea's gone a little tepid but it's still good.]

I appreciate you telling me. I can definitely see now why it would worry you so much.

They might want to know why you ask them to imbue the same crystal over and over.

[His expression softens, making him look nearly fifteen again.] Thank you. Thank you. For not running out or-- screaming at me, I suppose.

[He doesn't realize the tea's gone lukewarm until he's taken a sip, too, and he makes a face.] Oh... goodness, it's all cold now. I can warm it back up if you'd like.

Sure, [Sorey hands over his teacup, because it's good but it's not like, amazing. Lukewarm tea can only do so much.] And, I mean...do you want my honest opinion? On your condition?

[Your condition, he says, like it's something manageable. Like it isn't a curse. Like they're talking about a rash instead of something that will destroy Belthazar if he lets up for just one instant.

He heats up the tea with a little bit of fire magic, hands it over.]

You can be honest. [Sorey's probably the only person who can be honest and not make it feel like an execution.

He moves onto his own teacup, and then finally the teapot, until everything is pleasantly warm again.]

I don't think you should define yourself with it. [Sorey accepts his teacup back.] It sounds like it's something difficult to live with, but to call yourself a monster because of it...no matter what's happened in your past, the present you is trying to find alternative methods of dealing with it, right? Ones that don't hurt anybody.

You seem more like a pioneer than a monster to me. Or like a doctor.

[He's never heard words like that before. It's true that Belthazar defines himself with it. But that's also how all blood elves are... it's in the name. Doing otherwise isn't something he's considered; he's a creature of his culture, through and through, and he still struggles with the outsiders are bad mentality sometimes.

Still, Sorey's words hit home.]

I... yes, but -- I could never be a doctor, or a healer. I only know how to destroy. I can make potions and salves, but it's not quite the same thing, and --

[He's fighting but only because he's embarrassed, and it's clear by looking at his face. Those are such huge compliments. He covers his mouth with his hand as if that might hide how much he's blushing.]

-- y-you speak so highly of me. I fear it is misplaced.

[Buddy your entire face is tomato red.] Maybe. I don't know anything about your world or your culture besides what I've been told, but it's still what I think. [tea sip] For me, people back home who make potions and salves are doctors and healers, so that's what you seem like to me.

[He stares down at his tea as if it might save him.]

I could never compare to my sister. She-- she had such healing hands. She taught me that I needed to take care of myself, to not always depend on magic. She was right.

[He closes his eyes.]

I want to be... an archmage. A master at magic and alchemy. Someone people listen to. If I am strong like that, I can make sure what happened to me never happens to anyone else.

I believe you can do it. [Sorey smiles a little, setting his teacup down and folding his hands in his lap, leaning forward.] You've got the motivation, you've got the know-how...all that's left is for other people to see it, right?

[His ears straighten in surprise.]

Y-you do? [boy Sorey has been complimenting him this whole time and yet Belthazar still doesn't get it through his thick head. He's not used to praise.]

I mean-- I... I still have a lot to learn, but I'm capable enough to handle myself! It's just a matter of study.

[Sorey nods along, though he knows fuck all about becoming an archmage.] Then you're definitely well on your way. I don't think it's unreasonable to state your goal proudly like that.

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