monolike | IC CONTACT

[ He didn't think about that. Shit. ]

I can come to your ship.

[Not a single joke or quip.

He must have guessed it right. Something precious has been destroyed.]

Okay. I'll meet you in the docking bay.

[ To be fair, there's not much to joke about. ]

I'll see you soon, Sorey.

[It never stopped him before.

Mikleo actually gets annoyed and kicks Sorey out before he completely falls asleep, probably half because he's irritated and half because he knows how nervous Sorey has been about Zaveid. Don't come back unless you've talked with him properly, he'd ordered, shoving at Sorey until he got off the bed.

It's hard, seeing Mikleo like this. Lethargic, quiet...sometimes seeimg or hearing things not there, as if stuck in a dream.

Sorey's left with little to do but worry about him and worry about Zaveid as he waits in the cargo bay, sitting up on a crate, heels tapping gently against it as he swings his legs.]

Edited 2016-09-30 21:07 (UTC)

[ It doesn't take Zaveid too long to get there; he lets twenty or so minutes go by before he turns up, the shuttle docking in before he makes himself comfortable and waits for Sorey. There's a quiet part of him that's worried about how this is going to go, how things are going to change, but... He can't avoid it forever.

Not after the voicemail. Not after talking to Mikleo.

When he spots Sorey there's a moment of pause, but there's no fear. He saw the Shepherd in the hospital afterwards, he saw him weak and sad, and he saw him quiet and trying. It's enough, but he still feels tired, on edge, uncertain.

He has to get better, he thinks, stronger, above the pain and the hurt. He has to. ]

Yo, Sorey.

[Come to think of it, he hasn't even seen Zaveid since he reformed the pact with Lailah. He looks the same as ever (save his hair, though it seems to be growing back out quickly), but there's something... changed.

Not like the hostility from before when Zaveid jumped them on Rayfalke or outside Pendrago. This is different. Hesitant.

Sorey doesn't stand up, though he looks up from his laced up fingers nervously. Maybe being down here will help put Zaveid at ease.] Hi. ...your hair is coming back out.

[ His hair moves up and touches the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair before he shrugs a shoulder, trying to look nonchalant. It takes him a moment, but eventually his lips twitch and he nods his head. ]

Sure. One of the perks of being a seraph, didn't you know?

[ The downside is, of course, that you have to keep cutting it, but... ]

I think I might miss the short look - what do you think?

You look a little like if Dezel pulled his hair back. [Smiles, just a bit.] It looks good, but you seemed to really love it long.

Edited 2016-09-30 21:57 (UTC)

That's because the ladies like a man with long hair, Sorey... ~

[Yeah, Sorey doesn't know anything about that.

He sobers, hands still clasped and pressed between his knees as he tries to make eye contact.]

...you sounded like you had something you need to say.

[ Ah.

The time for jokes is over, then.

Zaveid breathes out, lifting his head and pursing his lips before he nods, once. ]

I want you to tell me why you want to be the Shepherd.

[Sorey meets Zaveid's eyes, finally, at his tone before looking back down at his knees. It's not like the question requires thought; Zaveid wants his honest feelings, and Sorey will give them to him. Whether or not that influences any decision Zaveid makes, well, that doesn't have any bearing on what he needs to say.]

It's not out of guilt, [he begins, because he knows that for certain. It's not as if he's become the Shepherd again to try and right his wrongs, or to make up for what he'd done.] And when I first agreed to this in Ladylake, I really didn't know what I was getting into. Lailah warned me, but the reality of it just didn't sink in. Now...

[Sorey takes a deep breath and lifts his head to meet Zaveid's eyes again.] Now I truly know what it means to be a human being. [His hands clench between his knees to the point of pain as he tries to keep them from shaking.] I'm...I'm flawed. I'm capable of anger, and sadness, and loneliness. And I'm capable of ego. Everything that can make a human being generate malevolence, I have the potential for all of that inside of me.

I want to be the Shepherd because I- I want to accept all of myself. I was raised by seraphim, and...and sometimes I can't understand humans. But I'm also a human being, and now I know the pain and fear they experience when they feel trapped. I want to do everything in my power to make the world livable for both. So humans can live without that fear, and so seraphim can live without that corruption.

[Sorey bows his head.] I'm sorry it's such a selfish reason. Sometimes it feels a little like being torn between two families, but I don't want there to be sides. To be an 'us' and a 'them.' If there's a way to bridge the gap between the ideals of seraphim and the ideals of humans, I want to spend the rest of my life searching for it.

Edited 2016-10-04 05:04 (UTC)

[ Sorey clears up Zaveid's worries almost instantly; he didn't want this man to return to being a Shepherd out of guilt or uncertainty or because he felt as though he was obligated. The only thing that would happen then is that there would be more pain, more suffering, more darkness and malevolence around him and they might not be able to save him the next time. He might not even want to be saved, and that's something they need to think about, from now into the future.

For now, he just stands and he listens.

Tilting his head up, Zaveid nods, once, sharply. ]

You've always been human, Sorey. Sure, you were raised with us seraphim but that doesn't change what you are in your heart. I think you forgot that along the way. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just... You gotta know who you are, in your core, otherwise you're never gonna be able to keep yourself safe and happy.

[ His expression softens before he lifts his hands, shrugging. It's almost shockingly familiar. ]

C'mon, everyone's a little selfish in their own way. You've got nothin' to worry about.

[Zaveid shrugging and sounding much like he always does is reassuring, but he also tends to hide a lot. Of course, what he's saying isn't wrong, either.]

Thanks... It's just a hard thing to come to terms with. [Sorey hesitates before he scoots over on the crate in a clear invitation. He's still not sure if Zaveid is wary about being so close to him and he doesn't want to force it, but he wants Zaveid to know it's there, if he wants to try.] Can I ask you something?

You should remember you're still young, too. It's okay to need to learn things as you go as well.

[ Because he's barely a dot in the lifetime that Zaveid has lead, and that's both terrifying and comforting. He simply has to accept it as his lot in life, but... ]

You just did.

[ Been spending too much time with Lailah? Maybe. ]

...you've been hanging out more with Lailah, haven't you? [YOU GET TO KNOW PEOPLE WHEN THEY LIVE INSIDE YOU]

What? Were you expecting me to ignore a beautiful lady?

[So she's been to see him. Unsurprising.]

Have you ever resented humans?

Huh?

[ The question makes him pause and he considers, for a moment, before he shrugs. ]

Sure, maybe, once. But then I grew up and I realised that you humans are like little kids to us seraphim. You don't get much time to grow up, so there's no point resenting you for things you can't control, right?

[That kind of feels a little...well, it's not like Sorey can say anything about it. He more or less proved Zaveid's point all by himself.]

I see. I suppose I can't argue with that.

[Sorey slides down from the crate.] Have you talked to Mikleo yet? He was asking after you, when he first came back.

[ At least he doesn't say it to be cruel, or intentionally mean; he's too old to think so two-dimensionally about humanity. He's had good and bad experiences, too many to count, and he can't just drop them all on Sorey right now. ]

That's gotta be a first. You always argue with me.

[ But then he's crossing his arms, breathing out. ]

Yeah, I went to see him.

[Yeah well. It's a lot easier to argue back when you've got a leg to stand on.]

Mikleo doesn't resent you, or blame you or anything. He told you, right?

[ Jeez... Zaveid almost winces. ]

Yeah, I got the whole speech. Don't really need to hear it again.

Just checking. [He didn't think Mikleo would let Zaveid get away without saying it, but the guy has a way of changing the topic to avoid things he doesn't want to hear. And Mikleo's tired.] So what now? Now that you've heard my answer.

[ It's true; Zaveid had made a good effort to try and keep the conversation away from the obvious, but Mikleo was about as stubborn as he was - there really was no escape. Now all he can do is breathe out, leaning back to stare up at the roof above them. ]

Now I guess I gotta go talk to Lailah.

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