monolike | IC CONTACT

[When the video feed comes on, there's Allen. While he doesn't look mad, he certainly looks unhappy. Because yeah, someone found out about your purifying spree.]

Hello Sorey, this is Allen.

There's something I wish to talk to you and Mikleo about. Is he there with you?

Not at the moment, but I can go get him. Where would you like to meet?

Um...well-

[He can't go to the Huntress with Greed's mess of an aura...and Blue Fish recently installed locks..]

Which ship are you on?

I'm on the SS Golden. It's pretty sedate here, if you were looking for somewhere quiet?

[He considers, before giving a nod]

Yes, that'll work.

I'll be over in a little while.

You got it, Allen! I'll meet you in the shuttle bay.

[It doesn't take long to pick Mikleo up and they wait together for Allen, legs swinging as they sit on crates and discuss what Allen might need to talk to them about.]

You know him better than me, right? What do you think it is?

[Mikleo shrugs his shoulders, book open in his lap, idly detailing a rough sketch he'd done of some designs from the library. The shout-out from Allen was as much a surprise to him as it was to Sorey.]

There's still a lot I don't know about him. The same can be said of anyone else here, really. Malevolence, maybe?

[That's the only thing that comes to mind. Allen's reaction to Greed had been telling, and the man was practically soaked in it.]

[Allen meanwhile had turned off his communicator so he's unaware of their exchange, but he'll dock his shuttle not too long after they made themselves comfortable. He comes off the ship and waves politely at them as he approaches them. He seems to be in his usual attire of a dress shirt and jacket with his gloves on. Nothing unusual here....]

Hello Sorey, Mikleo [~~Goofy~~]

Thank you for seeing me. There was...something I wanted to clarify with you two.

Sure, of course Allen! Anything you need. [Sorey straightens up his shoulders, hands pressed together between his knees. Does he have questions about seraphim after noticing Mikleo's largely invisible? Though it doesn't make sense why he'd bother coming to Sorey if that was the case...]

[Mikleo just quietly closes his book and studies Allen, waiting to hear what's going on. Seems serious. What was so important that they had to meet in person about it?]

Alright, then I'll get right to it.

[He crosses his arms.]

I've heard some rumours. Is it true that you two broke into a restaurant kitchen, harassed a cook until she got fired, and then attempted to exorcise her by throwing water at her?

[Ah. The tap-tap of Sorey’s heels against the side of the crate comes to a halt.] You mean what happened with Nightingale? Yes, that’s true. [Sorey bows his head.] It was entirely my fault; Mikleo just followed me to protect me. If there are any damages that need to be paid or anyone to whom I need apologize for the incident, please let me know.

[It’s actually kind of nice, being able fess up to something. Rose and the others were always covering for him and while he appreciated it (and needed it, honestly), he was beginning to feel the protection was a little too one-sided. He’s sheltered, but that doesn’t mean he can’t assume responsibility for his actions, right?]

Edited 2016-02-03 19:29 (UTC)

Sorey. [Mikleo gives Sorey a vaguely disapproving look and a nudge with his elbow.] We're both responsible for this. Don't start with that.

What? It's true. You probably told me to wait, right? [He didn't hear it, but knowing Mikleo would've said it is about the same in his book.]

[They were both trying to take responsibility for it? And not arguing over whose fault it was? Well, this was new- a nice, refreshing new, but still new]

[He holds up his hand]

Hold on-! I'm not here to punish you two! Nightingale is fine, if anything, she's happy for what you did. And I didn't see any damage in the restaurant-- though it wouldn't hurt if you two helped her find a new job.

[Just saying man.]

I just want to make sure you know that you can't go charging in every time you sense- what's your term for it? Malevolence?

[Okay, yes he did, but that isn't the point.]

Normally, we wouldn't have done that. But her level of malevolence was... alarming. We genuinely thought people were in danger.

[His brows furrow, giving Allen a pointed look.]

You recall when we were walking the other day and you reacted badly to the presence of my ship's captain? It was like that.

[Gut-wrenching, about-to-fall-over sort of malevolence just can't be ignored.]

Yes, I know. I've seen what her soul looks like. [And it is not pretty] There's no doubt that what you did helped her, at least a little.

[He crosses his arms]

But she's not the only person in the fleet that will have that kind of malevolence. There are some who have even more than her, but...would take even less kindly to being attacked.

[He glances at them]

The demons and their kind have been peaceful here. But there's no guarantee they'll stay peaceful if they feel threatened. I don't want the people of the fleet to get caught in the middle of a conflict like that.

Neither do we, [Sorey interjects gently, holding up a hand and scooting closer to Mikleo on instinct.] Malevolence behaves strangely here. Usually people exhibiting that much are inherently violent, but we've since been proven wrong on that account. [He glances at Mikleo and nods.] I don't know how it works with demons and monsters, but we've agreed to revise our approach. You have my word Allen, we won't do anything to place anybody in danger, directly or indirectly.

[Mikleo nods, arms crossing over his chest. As long as he's got Sorey around to retreat into, the malevolence can't seriously harm him, so if the people here who carry it are able to live without becoming hellions, then he can endure it too.]

And unless we're attacked first, we won't be purifying anyone by force.

Is that so?

[....Huh.]

[He tilts his head a little as he looks at the pair, his expression a bit quizzical. His gloved hand raises up to his chin to rub it a little as he thinks]

I must admit, I'm a little surprised... [This talk almost never goes this easily]

[In fact, it was so easy that to Allen, it almost seems fake. So he lowers his arm and he adopts a much colder, bemused expression - his eyes watching them. ]

But are you sure you boys sure can accept that revised approach so easily?

"Only a fool would think things like that could be peaceful", "The only good person with high malevolence is a dead one", "I'll happily destroy every single one of them"....

No one would fault you if you truly felt that way somewhere in your heart. [You wouldn't be the first, or the last]

Absolutely not. [Allen gets treated to the first angry frown Sorey's given anyone or anything since coming here, though his anger is directed more at the idea than Allen himself.

He still wishes there had been something he could have done for the Cardinal. Rose may have been the one to end her life, but if they'd just reached her sooner then maybe she wouldn't have been so far gone. He still can't believe that some people simply cannot be purified, not yet.

He wishes Lailah were here. She would be able to explain this so much better, would sound so much wiser than he. He'll just have to make do with his own clumsy words.]

Please don't misunderstand; a Shepard's duty is to purify malevolence, but never like that. I can't become a slave to my duty and sacrifice my own ideals for it. [He softens then, expression gentling into something more vulnerable as he unconsiously leans closer to Mikleo for support. This is a talk they've had many times before.] And I don't wanna hurt anybody.

[Mikleo is less scrupulous about it, his eyes narrowing fiercely at Allen. The very suggestion that Sorey would think such things would be laughable if it wasn't so obviously disturbing, and he's not about to just shrug off comments that upset Sorey.

He doesn't budge from his spot, allowing Sorey to lean on him as he pleases, and he straightens up as if to make himself taller, his body language visibly protective.]

The fact that you can say something like that shows how little you know of us, so I won't hold it against you. But if you're trying to provoke something, don't waste your time.

[He stares. They're serious...]

[...Ha. That's...]

[The warmth comes back into Allen's smile. This time, it's a sincere one.]

You can relax, Mikleo. I'm not trying to provoke. I was simply saying the reasons the words that are often said to me by people about this. I wanted to see if they spoke to you.

[It was a test, in other words. That's all it was. He gives a little laugh, almost out of disbelief]

I must say, you two really are quite the peculiar ones. [Though his tone is one closer to awe than actual insult.]

Edited 2016-02-04 21:35 (UTC)

Are we? [Sorey relaxes once that smile comes back, heels once again tap-tapping against the side of the crate.] Regardless, your concern is understandable. There are records of past Shepards thirsting for power or revenge to the point of giving into malevolence themselves, so it's not like I'm immune to it.

[BEAMS and taps his head against Mikleo's side.] But that's why I have Mikleo! And my other friends, back home. They keep me on the correct path.

[Mikleo scoffs at that, though he's fighting a smile, now.]

Please. You're the least corruptable person in history.

[And it's not like seraphim are immune to malevolence, either.]

[He gives an amused look at these two. Yeah, they were certainly peculiar]

Nightingale was right. You two have quite the strong bond, it seems.

[Okay so she more implied they were lovers, but whatever!! Strong bonds are strong bonds]

I'm glad you have good friends to help you on your path, both of you. That's very important.

Edited 2016-02-04 23:19 (UTC)

What made you come to us about this? [Sorey straighten up, hands on his knees. Sure, Allen is an officer, but there are a dozen other officers and no one else had made a peep. Was it simply a matter of convenience, with Allen both as a figure of authority and a person who could communicate with Mikleo without help?

No, if that was so then he could have just issued them a warning and been done with it.] Were you worried we'd hurt Nightingale?

[He looks back at Sorey and shakes his head. No, Nightingale had insisted she was fine. And nothing he had sensed of her had indicated otherwise.]

No. I'm a little surprised you haven't figured it out yet.

[What with the power sensing, the talk of souls, the knowledge of all these things...eh. Kids.]

I'm an Exorcist. My job is...a bit similar to a Shepherd, from the sounds of it. [The purifying evil and all that] So I feel it's part of my job the fleet stays safe from demonic or undead threats. Which...after hearing about Nightingale, I wanted to make sure you weren't planning on provoking them - as other demon hunter sorts have done in the past. [He offers a shrug. It really wasn't anything personal against you Sorey.]

[??? ????? ??] Why would anybody purposefully provoke them? Didn't they think about what might happen to the people caught up in it?

[....]

[...Why do you seem so shocked by this idea?]

Um...I'm sorry, but how long have you been a Shepherd exactly?

We more or less just started, didn't we? It hasn't even been a year.

[Seraphim: historically not great at keeping track of time or something.]

I see...

[In other words, they probably have a handful of experience, but overall still pretty green. Hm....guess this calls for what Zestiria loves most: barely prompted tutorial-esque expositions!]

Well, I wouldn't say provocation is always bad tactic, or that they aren't thinking about people who might get caught up in it. In fact, sometimes the best tactic is not to hesitate and make the first strike to take them out. For example, if a Youma came here then you can't expect it to be peaceful, not when they feed on human intestines. And an Akuma attack could wipe out an entire crew in seconds, so the faster they're stopped the better. [He crosses his arms again] Fortunately, I haven't spotted any signs of either being in the fleet so far.

[Guess Atroma figures mass graphic death would be a killer for ratings. Weird]

The problem is, sometimes demon fighters get so used to fighting creatures like that. So when they arrive here, they assume all demons or creatures who give off that energy are like that - extremely dangerous if left alone. They really do mean well, and are trying to protect people...they're just using the wrong tools for the job. Once they've been in a place like this long enough, they usually change their thinking and approach. [Allen knows he did]

[He then frowns] Though, I won't deny there's those rare few who...have gone too far into zealotry and don't care who they hurt. They're probably more dangerous than the demons, if you ask me.

[o

kay that's not

Sorey exchanges a bewildered glance with Mikleo before leaning forward, fidgety with nerves because this is a hell of a misunderstanding.]

I'm really sorry, but I don't think we're talking about the same thing. Unless something specifically involves malevolence or hellions, a Shepard is not to get involved. And- Undyne? The cook on Mikleo's ship, she called herself a monster and she looked sorta like a hellion, but there wasn't even a speck of malevolence on her.

That's what I mean about malevolence behaving strangely. All this stuff about hunting demons and Akuma and Youma...I don't know what those are, and if they try to hurt people we'll do what we can to help people escape or heal wounds, but unless there's malevolence corrupting things then we're really not supposed to do anything besides help with evacuation efforts. [Lailah has made that extremely clear. Those Akuma and Youma things sound like bad news, absolutely, but what if they're human weapons or something that came about due to human society? Sure, if they turn out to be like hellions, corrupted by malevolence and the like, Sorey will happily get involved but he's already been manipulated into one war and that had not been a fun time for anybody. He'll never forget the looks on those soldiers' faces, or the choking taste of malevolence so thick he nearly drowned in it.

This is sounding a lot bigger than he'd anticipated, and from how Allen's talking, Sorey doesn't think he'd be fond of the culture around it either.]

[...]

[Well, hearing that? Sure is a let down. You can practically see the surprise, followed by the disappoint and hurt cross Allen's face.]

...Ah. I misunderstood.

[There's part of him that wants to argue. Part of him that wants to point out how would an Akuma not have malevolence? They were fueled by the pain and suffering of a soul for God's sake. And how could leaving an Youma to feed and attack innocent not create this malevolence they're so worried about? It wasn't like he was asking them to get involved with politics or person-to-person conflicts. This was just about helping people when they had the power to do so.]

[But...what would be the point? He had gotten ahead of himself, after all. He didn't know the Shepherd's code. Maybe Sorey and Mikleo were nice, but that didn't mean Shepherds were. Similar powers didn't make them comrades....no matter how badly Allen missed his.]

...I'm sorry. I got ahead of myself. [He looks down at his feet] I just want to help the people around me, in what ways I can. That's all it is. Akuma, Youma, Demon.... each one's different, but the longer you're stuck in a place like this, the less that matters.

[But most people aren't stuck in these places as long as Allen is. And this place wasn't in any immediate danger so...what's the point in arguing more? So he shakes his head]

But that's my decision, and not yours. I shouldn't assume otherwise, and I don't want you to get in trouble as a Shepherd. So...sorry. I'll...only call for you if a Hellion appears, okay?

[stares at allen]

[STARES VERY PLEADINGLY AT MIKLEO]

[DON'T WORRY HE'S GOT YOUR BACK BRO

This is getting awkward and a bit ridiculous, so he sort of figured it was time to step in anyway.]

Hold on. It's true that in an ideal world, a Shepherd exists outside of humankind and can never involve themselves in the politics or difficulties that don't involve malevolence. To do so would alter the balance of society, frighten the public, and can cause malevolence to form within the Shepherd. That's what we were taught.

[And all of what Allen talked about sounded... really bad, but they have no way of knowing what the level of corruption is in the creatures he's describing. Hellions are undoubtedly terrible and have killed countless numbers of living beings, and many more have become hellions themselves, but they don't... generally tear people apart, or eat them in pieces. They exist to destroy and corrupt and little else. Even so.]

However, what's called a hellion in one world could easily be demon, Akuma, or Youma in another. We're out of our element. Until we know more about this place, and the dangers people experience here, we can't make any judgment calls.

[.......AND ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE-]

Also, Sorey is Sorey. It's impossible for him to not help people, and he has a habit of finding ways to get around the Shepherd's limitations when it means doing good. So please, don't hesitate if you ever need us.

[It's okay I'm sure Hellions would've done the whole ripping people apart thing, but Namco didn't want an M rating. Just saying]

[Mikleo's explanation helps. Allen was half contemplating finding a quick exit out of here and some rock to go hide under- but Mikleo's explanation stops him from that. He seems to mull it over in his head, before nodding]

...Alright, that's fair. [he gives a nod. Yeah. That's right. They were new and out of their element. They needed time to adjust and come to their own decisions. Allen knew that he did.]

Thank you.

[Thank goodness for Mikleo. He'd managed to say everything that Sorey had wanted to say, and in a way that actually made more sense. There was no way for them to know if akuma and youma were the same as hellions until they actually saw them, but as long as Allen isn't hesitant to contact them then they don't have to fret over it right now.]

Of course, Allen! Trust us, we don't want to see anyone hurt or in danger either. [Which is why Sorey has such a problem with actually following the Shepard code, much as he tries to be good and listen to his Prime Lord. It's hard to ignore tragedy and heartache when it stares you right in the face, after all.] If something happens and you need our help, we'll be there. I promise!

[Okay. With Sorey cheered up again, Mikleo can relax. Misunderstandings can cause all kinds of chaos in friendships- they both learned that, growing up with one another all these years. It would be absurd to leave things in the direction they were headed.

He gives Sorey another nudge, leaning back in his seat on the boxes.]

Maybe we should be writing a new rule in the Celestial Record. "Take the path of least malevolence."

[Yeah, that makes Allen smile as well and say "thanks" again. Right. He just got ahead of himself for a bit. Things can go slowly, after all. There's a good chance the Shepherds power will never even be needed.]

The Celestial Record? What's that?

[friend

Sorey gets this manic sparkle in his eye that may look familiar to Allen. He reaches behind himself to produce a book from his nerdy little book holder at the small of his back.] It's this.

This is probably one of the most comprehensive texts of the history of our planet. There're diagrams and sketches of all kinds of ruins and statues and reliefs found around the world, maps of the world's continents, even theoretical exposition on what ancient cultures were like based on artifacts uncovered in the ruins the author has explored. It's amazing.

Edited (what the freck is a Horsley ) 2016-02-09 21:27 (UTC)

[allen what have you done]

It's his favourite book. It's also been sort of the backbone of our hobby since we were kids- most of what we know of the world stems from that text.

[Uh oh. Allen's seen that sparkle come out of Clay's eyes enough time to recognize that he's really stepped into something unwittingly. This is only confirmed when Sorey pulls the book out of a book holder he hadn't noticed before. Like whoa dude, get a backpack like a normal person]

[But honestly instead of getting weirded out by it? It just makes him laugh and smile. It's good to see them have so much passion about a subject.]

It sounds incredible! No wonder you were asking about ruins when you came here!

Haha. Yeah, it seems kind of silly to be hoping to find ruins in the middle of space, but you never know where you'll discover something! Right? [Sorey rocks back, drawing up a knee and resting his elbow around it. As much as he'd love to talk about the Celestial Record, there are a few things on his mind and he'd rather not get too far off topic.]

Allen...if you have the time, I'd like to hear more about how you got involved with these Akuma and Youma things. I think if we understood more about where you were coming from, maybe we could give you a better answer.

[Mikleo glances sidelong at Sorey for a moment, surprised - since it's easy to get him sidetracked with such things - then shakes it off. When it's really important, when it means something to another person, he's as focused as anyone.

So he nods, looking back to Allen and folding his hands together.]

I'm interested, as well. And about the demons, and other monsters here who may or may not have malevolence, and if there are some we should be careful not to approach, even peacefully.

About how I got involved in all this? And about the demons and monsters here?

[He glances between the two, now that they are getting back on topic. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck]

Well, I don't mind sharing. But it's a bit of a long story.... [Also depressing. He's used to telling his own backstory so it'd hardly affect him, but still...]

We love stories. We're history buffs, after all. [That kind of comes with the territory. Impartiality also comes with the territory, but Sorey is not as good at that as Mikleo is. They'll manage somehow.] I'd really like to hear about it, Allen.

Unless it's something you'd prefer not to share.

[After the previous misunderstanding, the last thing they need is to cause any more unintended tension. They don't need the grief or the guilt complex.]

[he shakes his head] No, it's fine. It's not really a story I hide.

[Unlike the ones he does. But hey that's besides the point right now. Instead, he'll just get started. YAY STORYTIME.]

It started when I was a child. My birth parents abandoned me when I was very young because I had a deformed arm. But, I was very lucky and there was a man who took me in and raised me as if he was my father.

Then when I was eleven, he died suddenly. I was completely devastated. So not long after...I was approached by a man called the Millennium Earl. He claimed he had the ability to bring my father back to life.

[He shakes his head] It was a trick, of course. The Millennium Earl uses the souls of the dead to fuel his killing machines, Akuma. He just requires a loved one of the departed in the ritual that traps the soul....so he goes around, preying on people who are deep in grief so he can make more Akuma.

Normally he has the person killed after the ritual's complete, but I got lucky and my powers as an Exorcist awoke and saved me. Though, before that happened, I was cursed...so I could always sense trapped souls like those in the Akuma.

When it was all over, I was eventually found by an older Exorcist. He explained what happened, and asked if I wanted to become an Exorcist as well. And I said yes.

And...that's how I first got involved in all this.

[Yay storytime...?]

Edited 2016-02-13 06:15 (UTC)

[It's a story that starts out not dissimilar to their own (abandoned children, anybody?) but everything from there on is different. Where they were taken in by their grandfather, by a loving family of seraphim who did everything they could to raise Sorey and Mikleo, Allen experienced loss.

This Earl character does sound like a Lord of Calamity, preying on the weak hearts of people to sew misfortune and release monsters unto the world. Sorey can definitely see how Allen would equate them as having the same enemy.]

I see. So you must have been very young when you started doing this...? Eleven years old? [That's way too young. When he was eleven, he and Mikleo were still romping around the forest and mountaintops and ruins, not a care in the world beyond their own daily chores.] I'm sorry you had to go through something like that.

[Mikleo nods quietly, pondering the tale for a long moment. He and Sorey had been fortunate enough to grow almost to adulthood before venturing out into the world and facing the dangers that go along with it. He can't imagine leaving sooner; they'd have died for sure.]

So that's why you were able to detect Greed in the station, before. But that curse means you can track these Akuma?

[He would never assume a curse would be a good thing, but that at least sounds somewhat useful, when your job is to hunt such things. Much like Sorey gaining the power to sense malevolence through his seraphim.]

[He shakes his head at Sorey's expression of sympathy. It wasn't an easy path, sure. There was a lot of pain, but it's made him who he is today after all. He didn't regret it] Mm, though I didn't finish training until I was fifteen.

[He won't mention that he was far from the youngest Exorcist ever recruited. He's seen and happen to people much younger. Often times against their will, unlike him. But ah...those are too dark of stories for today.]

[Instead, he focuses on Mikleo's question and gives a little nod]

That's right. With it, I can sense trapped souls from up to about 300 yards away - even through solid objects. [Suck on that "Normin for the Win"] It's helpful, but...as you say, it can be more of a hindrance when someone like Greed is around.

Trapped souls? [Huh. Maybe that's what he'd been seeing? It had been muddled and there had been so much malevolence it had been hard to look at Greed, so Sorey never really got a chance to see exactly what he'd looked like, outside of his physical body.] Did you see anything else around Greed, like...a dark cloud, or anything like that?

[Seeing the souls clearly was something Sorey couldn't do, but that Allen would notice that first and not the malevolence...maybe they really aren't seeing the same thing. Like how the seraphim of Elysia could never be positive that they saw the same things as Sorey, due to their difference in species. Still, Allen must have high resonance in order to see and hear Mikleo. It'll be difficult to determine how these sorts of things overlap, though it's not as if they have to find a common ground with how their worlds and powers work in order to stand on the same side of an issue.]

Trapped Souls are souls that've been forced into a vessel that they don't naturally belong to, whether it's by magic or some other means.

[As for the second question, he considers before shaking his head]

I couldn't get close enough to Greed to tell if he had that. [Besides, the thousands of souls would be way more distracting even if he could] I can see dark energies though coming from some people...it usually presents itself as a dark haze, depending on the severity. Is that what you mean?

It's something like that, yes. That's what malevolence looks like to those who can see it.

[He's interested to know how similar it looks, but probably not with Greed. Allen's reaction made that pretty clear.]

Huh. [That's interesting. So it was the souls more than the malevolence that grabbed Allen's attention. Maybe this is like how Sorey could never really know for sure if he saw the same thing as the seraphim?

Well, whatever.] Anyway, it's not important. I was just curious. [Something to shelve for later contemplation, maybe.] It seems like your powers are a lot sharper than mine, Allen. I could only barely tell there were souls in there, I had no idea how many. Mikleo, could you?

Not exactly. I could feel that there was more to him, but it's hard to see around that much malevolence. The only clear indication was when I spoke with Ling. The rest was just...

[It's hard to put it into words. Seraphim can see into the hearts of humans, sure, but Greed's not exactly human, is he? And they still don't know enough about either of them to understand the situation properly.]

...In a single person, it was like the combined malevolence of an entire city. Different kinds of suffering from many, many different people, all stemming from the same source. If he's carrying multiple souls, then that would explain it.

[He shrugs at Sorey's remark about his powers being sharper. Their powers came from different sources, it was only to be expected. Besides, he doubted Sorey would actually want to have a sensing ability as sharp as Allen's. Useful as it was and even if Allen's long adjusted to it, it was still a curse]

It sounds like Mikleo's senses are pretty sharp too. [Being able to pick up that it's enough energy to cover a city, much less that they came from different sources- that's pretty damn good]

...Honestly, Greed's an anomaly even by my standards. I'm not sure what to make of him. [The only other time he had seen that many souls attached to a single vessel was a Lich King. But even then...Greed hasn't shown any of the other traits that went with Lich Kings. It was weird to say the least] Though I hope you don't take it personally if I never visit you on the Huntress.

[Since screw going near that again.]

Nah, that's okay. I really don't blame you. [So Allen doesn't know the deal with Greed either. Sorey doesn't know whether to feel comforted or more worried by that. And true, being on the Huntress is kind of worse than being on the Golden in terms of malevolence, but he feels much better being around Mikleo so the tradeoff is worth it.]

Same here. If Sorey's domain wasn't as strong as it is, I'd have been the one requesting a transfer.

[It had admittedly been tempting, but at least the Huntress has a number of people he can actually talk to. Sorey's ship doesn't have that much going for it, in that department.]

[He looks between the two of him]

His...domain?

[Yeah that doesn't make any sense to him]

Uh, like, hellions, powerful seraphim and people with seraphim pacts have, [Sorey gestures around himself in a dome,] what we call a domain. It depends entirely on spiritual strength. My domain means any seraphim I have pacts with will be safe from malevolence, and it also purifies malevolence...well, a little bit. Mostly we have to do that by hand.

The main purpose of the pact is to grant the Prime Lord and her sub lords a vessel to dwell in and avoid corruption in exchange for their power. Being on the Huntress alone could have become a problem if it went on too long, but with Sorey around, I can just get inside if it becomes unbearable.

[being a sub lord is occasionally convenient, yup]

[He crosses his arms and thinks as he listens to this]

So in other words...Seraphims are susceptible to malevolence, so they form pacts with humans and that can protect them from being corrupted. And in exchange, a human with a pact can use the power of a seraphim to purify malevolence - and that's what makes a Shepherd. Meanwhile the domain is just an extensive aura of someone's strength.

Is that right?

More or less, but it takes an exceptionally powerful seraph to be able to make a pact and become a Prime Lord. [So it's not like it can happen all over.] And the human has to have really high resonance, and should probably be able to resist becoming malevolent. [Glances over at Mikleo.] There used to be a lot of Shepards, even a bunch at a time at one point but...not so much now.

[Mikleo catches the glance, then shrugs. It's never been a concern with Sorey. For the others, maybe, but not for him. He knows Sorey too well.]

If a vessel becomes corrupted, the seraphim will be transformed into dragons, and there's no going back. If they choose poorly, their lives essentially end.

[Okay so he's listening to Sorey. So Shepherds are pretty rare since the pact wasn't an easy one to make. Made sense, it seems like a pretty powerful pact with a lot of responsibility. He's not sure what this whole prime and sub lord thing is, but maybe Mikleo when he starts speaking with clarify. Except-]

[--Wait what]

--Corrupted Seraphim turn into dragons?!

[THATS A NEW ONE. A VERY WORRYING NEW ONE]

Edited 2016-02-26 06:04 (UTC)

Yeah. [which is like, a problem and all] Very powerful seraphim become dragons when infected by malevolence. That's apparently one of the reasons why Shepards have such strict rules about what they can and can't get involved in; any situation that might cause a conflict of the Shepard's heart will put the seraphim at risk if they start to generate malevolence, and then there's suddenly dragons flying all over the place. [It's one of the biggest reasons Sorey doesn't go flying off to take care of things how he sees fit. Well, that and the respect he has for Lailah and the others' judgement. The idea of his own weak-heartedness causing the death of his friends is definitely a scary one.]

Thankfully it takes a lot of malevolence for it to come to that. Most corrupted seraphim become hellions first, and they can still be purified. There aren't many dragons in the world, even with how much malevolence there is.

[Still, you know. It's a bit terrifying to imagine, losing yourself to that. He doesn't like thinking about it much.]

I see... [And he thought he had problems. Sure, Nea going out of control could be bad- but he didn't really compare to a dragon. Hell, even becoming a Fallen One, the biggest fear for an Exorcist, was temporary compared to becoming a dragon. A Fallen One happened with Exorcists purely by the choices they make anyway, not....just being around some dark energy too long or Sorey having a very bad day]

I've encountered dragons in my travels, but I've never had to fight one. In a lot of worlds, they're just naturally born creatures with no dark matter, so there's no reason for an Exorcist to get involved. Some have even been allies. [That's always fun] But a dragon created solely from malevolence....

[That's bad. That'd definitely be Exorcist work and that's very, very bad.]

...Are you sure you want to stay on the Huntress? There's plenty of other ships in the fleet that don't have that level of dark power aboard. Maybe even some with people who can see Mikleo... [He's not saying staying there is a bad idea. No, he's saying it's a Terrible idea.]

Wherever we go, we'll have to make sure we're together. And a lot of the ships are nearing capacity, right? We wouldn't want to put in a double transfer and only one of us get it. [Sorey glances up at Mikleo.] Besides, Mikleo is tough. It's not so much as if he's around malevolence, he'll turn; it takes days, sometimes even weeks, and an intense concentration of malevolence for it to work. The reason why it's a problem for seraphim who make a pact is because of the pact. [Sorey smiles and shrugs a shoulder.] The difference between having poison on your skin and poison in your bloodstream.

If it's something you're worried about Allen, don't be. Mikleo's here to guide me; he wouldn't hide it if something was wrong. And I won't let anything happen to him, either.

[Mikleo nods. It's an understandable fear, sure, but Allen will just have to trust them on this one.]

Believe me, if it was a bigger concern, We'd have left the ship as soon as possible. Neither of us have any desire to hurt anyone here, and we've dealt with much worse malevolence than Greed in the past.

[Greed's a pain, but he's got nothing on Heldalf. Or, uh, actual dragons. If there was a risk of him becoming one, he'd get the hell out immediately- he has no desire to lose himself to that.]

Anyway, after this long, I'm mostly used to him by now.

[Around when this happens--]

Sorey. Are you on the Huntress right now?

[He's trying REALLY REALLY HARD to sound normal. If it were anyone but Sorey, the strain in his voice would likely be imperceptible.]

[Oh.

Sorey doesn't often fret over Mikleo; he's more level-headed than Sorey is after all, and he knows how to take care of himself. A lifetime of being the one looking up to Mikleo as the stronger one doesn't go away in a few months just because he's made a few pacts, but now they know more about the dangers of the world and Sorey's started to hear that tone in Mikleo's voice more and more often. It's not urgent, Mikleo would tell him if it was, but it's definitely enough to get Sorey jumping up from his current job, giving his employer a story about an emergency, a friend needs help and he'll be back ASAP before he hits the streets at a brisk jog.]

On my way now. Meet you in the cargo bay?

I'll be there.

[And he will, no matter how long Sorey takes to get there. He'd been drifting between ships in the shuttle, unsure of where to go but needing to be off of the Pathstone rather desperately. Once he has a destination in mind, Mikleo flies there directly and waits quietly in the cockpit, eyes closed, breathing deeply. He's fine, and he needs Sorey to know that he's fine.

He just. Needs that domain.]

[It'll be obvious when he does arrive, at least. The edges of his domain bubble around the cargo hold as he approaches, weak but strengthening as he draws closer to where Mikleo is until the doors slide open and he jogs in, a little out of breath. His eyes find Mikleo like a magnet and he makes a beeline, moving around crates.]

Everything all right?

[As soon as Sorey gets close, Mikleo can feel it, and some of the tension bleeds out of him, his fingers loosening their iron grip on the pilot's chair. He doesn't need to see out of the shuttle to know when Sorey's there- he can feel it, every fiber of his being soaking in the warm, protective sensation of their pact and all the benefits it creates.

He barely even hears Sorey's voice calling out to him. As soon as he feels that he's able, he lets his body dissolve into particles and follows the invisible tether linking him to Sorey, zooming in to dwell within his vessel- curling up in the corner of Sorey's mind like a child wrapping himself up with a security blanket, safe and cozy.

He doesn't speak at first, quietly easing himself back into his comfort zone. He's never faced anything like that alone before, and even if it ended up not being dangerous, he'd been badly spooked.

Sorry, friend. Give him a moment.]

Mikleo... [Sorey presses a hand to his chest, like he's trying to hug Mikleo like this but he can't. He'll do the next best thing; take a seat, close his eyes and try to calm himself down. The calmer and more peaceful he is, the more comfortable it is for Mikleo.

Okay, he'll rub his chest a little too, because he's worried.]

"I'm alright."

[He responds almost immediately after Sorey speaks, after hearing the concern in his voice; he's still recovering, soaking up the security of the domain, but he doesn't want Sorey fretting needlessly. Really, he'll be fine. Already he feels a world of a difference, like coming home to Elysia after wandering through the tainted world, the gentle safety of Gramps' domain washing over him, invigorating and soothing as a fresh rain. Before their journey he'd never known it was possible for a human to create a domain like that, but after the pact, he hadn't been surprised that Sorey could. It's not like anyone else in the world had ever made him feel as safe as Sorey.

The moments pass in quiet, calming silence until at last he feels halfway normal again, the lingering sensation of the malevolence swept clean from his body.]

"...Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you like that."

[Getting used to Mikleo being inside him instead of beside him has been an adventure, but Sorey's more or less grown accustomed to it now. It serves its purpose, and it's a closeness they never had before that Sorey cherishes. Though he does like being able to talk to Mikleo face-to-face, this is an opportunity not many people have to coexist with the people they hold most dear.

And Mikleo here, seeped into his soul, gentle and strong and deep like a fathomless spring is a comfort in and of itself. It gives Sorey a sense of safety, of calm and of power that he would never be able to put into the appropriate words. Luckily, he doesn't have to; Mikleo can probably feel it all there, thrumming throughout his soul like a tangible song.]

It's fine. What happened? Did you get cornered by Greed or something?

Edited 2016-03-04 06:55 (UTC)

[Mikleo allows himself to uncurl somewhat in the enclosure within Sorey, comfortable enough to stretch and feel out his surroundings more. The warm flow of Lailah's power, distant but familiar, blends with his own element, and Dezel's, making it surprisingly homey. They've each added their own touch to make it their own- marks that Sorey's soul had allowed, runes and manifestations to ease the weight of their existence on his body and complement the tethers linking them to him and his Prime Lord. In his mind's eye he could see each and every one of them, even Edna and Zavied, despite their absence. It's almost as soothing as Sorey himself, and he lets it nibble away at his lingering tension. He's safe here.]

"No, it was... I went to the Pathstone. I thought I would see Elize. But her crew... there's so much malevolence on that ship, Sorey..."

Is that so? [They'd made a promise not to go around cleansing malevolence willy-nilly, but the idea of leaving a little girl on a ship stuffed full of malevolent beings without so much as checking it out doesn't sit well with him at all. They could at least go take a look, make sure Elize isn't in any danger.

...or maybe later, after Mikleo's feeling more steady. Anything that can chase him out like that has got to be powerful.] I wonder if there's anything we can do without disturbing the crew.

[He's also not looking forward to explaining to Elize why he won't be able to come over whenever he wants to visit.]

"I'm not sure. We'll have to be careful, whatever we do, and not just because of what Allen warned us about. It's powerful. It felt like Rayfalke, when we entered the dragon's domain."

[A ripple of fear shudders from his soul to Sorey's before he can suppress it, and he follows it up with an unspoken regret. He doesn't like Sorey knowing when he's frightened by something. Not when he's trying so hard to be strong and support his friend as a proper sub lord should. His concern isn't something he can fully hide, though.]

"I don't know how we're supposed to deal with power like that without Lailah."

[Holy shit, even with Lailah's power, a dragon is above their paygrade. Maybe. Sorey is not eager to face another one down after being chased down the mountain by Eizen.

Mikleo's fear makes Sorey shudder too, but that pulse of regret gets another comforting press of Sorey's palm to his chest. They're partners. Mikleo doesn't have to be strong all the time; Sorey can pick up the slack.]

We'll figure it out. Our first job will be to assess the danger and make sure Elize and the other passengers aren't in any trouble. [One step at a time, they can handle this together if they just take it one step at a time.]

"...Right."

[He's not eager to go back there any time soon either, but he won't deny that there's a need to confirm the safety of the others. Solas, who technically posed the greater problem malevolence-wise, had seemed decent enough, but Elize herself didn't have a good opinion of Tek. They may have agreed not to go around purifying people willy-nilly, but they never promised not to make sure the situation wouldn't escalate. It would be impossible to force such a promise out of them, anyway- every word would be a lie.]

"When we go, we'll go together."

Absolutely. We should tell Dezel about it too, so he's aware. [If god forbid something happens over there, Dezel should know.

[Time to get out of here and somewhere they can both take it easy and rest. Sorey pushes himself up and heads for Mikleo's quarters, keeping to himself as he passes other crew members with just a nod instead of a conversation.]

Do you think Allen would know anything about this? [Sorey asks under his breath.] We could contact him and see what he has to say.

"He might. It may depend on whether the malevolence comes from what he's able to sense, like Greed, or something else."

[He can't sense souls the way Allen can, so he has no way of knowing if that's what's creating the malevolence in Solas and Tek.]

"Either way, it's definitely worth checking. He might have already met them."

[Making it to Mikleo's quarters is a relief because he doesn't have to pretend like he's not talking to himself. Sorey doesn't ask if Mikleo wants out before sprawling over Mikleo's bed either, tucking his hands under his head.] He probably has. He seemed pretty determined to keep tabs on troublemakers like us. [Grinning. It's kind of fun to be mistaken for a troublemaker when there's no actual trouble being made.]

[Somewhere between Sorey's domain and being back in his own personal space, Mikleo finds enough equilibrium to venture back out again, materializing to sit on the edge of the bed. It's a different kind of safety, being alone and close to Sorey like this. There's still malevolence on the Huntress thanks to the presence of Greed, like always, but it's manageable now. A known danger, rather than one that's new and experienced without the others to support him.

He leans back, one hand reaching back to support his weight, almost but not quite touching Sorey.]

He'll tell us not to try purifying them, I'm sure.

[Sorey shifts his weight, rolls his head to the side until it rests easily against Mikleo's wrist.] Yeah, probably. Seems like he likes to keep a really tight watch on things. I don't suppose I can blame him; from how he spoke, he has a lot of so-called do-gooders coming through and upsetting things. [Sorey's not pleased with the 'leave it lie' approach, but he's learned to at least tolerate it during their travels.]

[Mikleo doesn't move away; quietly, he's glad of it. He knows Sorey's all for little touches, but after dwelling inside for so long when it's not as comfortable for either of them yet, he doesn't want to crowd too much. A stupid sentiment, considering who he's with, but he can't help it.]

As long as they're not attacking or hurting anyone, we don't have a choice. Any further fighting it could cause would be worse than the malevolence, and could end up generating more.

You're right. [Of course. And it does help that Sorey can feel Mikleo's frustration right alongside his own.] There's little we can do about this without getting innocent people wrapped up in it.

...It's too different here.

[Mikleo's quiet for a moment, then his hands clench into fists around the sheets.]

Back home, we knew what we had to do, and we did it.

We had some complications back home, too. [Sorey nudges Mikleo with his shoulder and laces his hands over his stomach.] A lot of the same ones. Nobody knows who we are here yet, so nobody trusts us to help. All that means is that we have to show people we're trustworthy, right?

If everyone comes to know us as people who can help, they'll let us. People in pain don't want to stay that way, so...we just have to work hard to earn their trust.

I never thought I'd miss the hellions.

[It's not quite petulant; he's supposed to be the mature one. Still, there's an air of reluctance that's hard to shake. Sorey's right, and they both know it. Not everyone's going to just let them purify the malevolence the way Nightingale had.

He's just not as good at earning trust as Sorey is. Communication issues aside, the discomfort that comes from being around the malevolence has already caused awkwardness.

With a quiet sigh, he leans to the side until he drops down onto the bed, his back to Sorey's shoulder. He's got no argument, and no desire to think one up.]

...We'll keep trying.

Hey. You busy?

[He coughs once, twice, then shuts off the feed.]

[hi what's up calling back immEDIATELY BECAUSE WHY ARE YOU COUGHING] I'm not busy! Do you need me? I can be over in just a few minutes. [that's the sound of sorey furiously packing up his maintenance tools]

Edited 2016-04-15 05:25 (UTC)

[SOREY PLEASE]

I have something to drop off at your place.

[look when you live on the s.s. malevolence a guy is allowed to be mildly concerned]

Oh, sure! I'll meet you in the cargo bay.

[That's true. Anders and Naruto are gone, but... still.]

I'll be there soon.

[True to his word, he is there in about ten minutes, maybe fifteen. He steps out of the shuttle with two flat-ish boxes in his arms. They don't look very heavy, and the boxes themselves are plain white.

His movements are only a little slower than usual, but the part of his face that is visible seems flushed.]

Sorey.

Dezel! -Dezel? Are you- [He'd felt it once Dezel entered his domain, that sense of unevenness, that something was off balance but he'd just figured it was that weird way his powers were settling here. Maybe he'd have to readjust every time.

But no, there's definitely something wrong. Sorey hurries closer and takes the packages from Dezel, peering up at him worriedly.] You look like you're sick, are you okay?

[Dezel tries to avoid Sorey's gaze and he's not too successful.] I'm fine. I don't get sick. [It's probably just the malevolence. Being around Sorey ought to make him feel better.

He taps the topmost box.]

Open it. [... It's exactly what you were expecting. The other box has something for Mikleo.]

[Dezel gets a vaguely pouting look because Sorey knows this isn't just malevolence, but he'll come back to that. Dezel came all this way while feeling unwell to give him a gift so he's gonna open that shit up and mothERFUCKING LOVE IT.]

Oh my god. This- [PULLS IT ON] It's so warm! Dezel, thank you! I love it.

[Dezel is surprised that Sorey loves it simply because Dezel isn't used to giving gifts. At all. It's not like he used to bring Rose dead birds or something. But he did see that and think of Sorey, so it's not as bad as it could be.]

The other one is for Mikleo.

[Mickey has been helping him purify the moon, so he deserves something too.]

[Sorey peeks at that one too before shooting Dezel a grin. Mikleo will probably rant about 'childishness' or some other such nonsense, but secretly he'll like it. Sorey knows him.] Thanks Dezel, he'll love it too. I'll be sure to give it to him.

Now. [Sorey sets the boxes aside and maybe his sternness is offset by the dopey puppy hat he's still got wedged onto his head, but his hands are on his hips and he's going for stern nonetheless.] How about we discuss why you look so under the weather?

[Dezel nods, but he should've known better. Sorey knows something's up and he's not going to let go of it until he has an answer. Sometimes it's easy to forget that Sorey is firm in his beliefs, and he is absolutely committed to and loyal to his seraphim. He won't leave them behind. Not on anything. Even Dezel, who wanted to be left behind.]

I'm not under the weather. I'm a wind seraph. [HE CONTROLS THE WEATHER, BASICALLY.

-- but then he rubs at his forehead, bumping his hat up a bit, and it's clear he's hotter than he's letting on.]

... Ugh, damn it.

You need to rest before you go back. C'mon, you can lay down in my room. [Sorey taps his chest insistently. Go on, get in here, he'll walk you over.]

[Dezel is really not feeling that well. He's held up well until now, but that was because he didn't have an alternative; now that he's close to a safe place, all his pain and sickness is catching up to him.

For once, he doesn't protest. He's done enough of that. He just accepts it and nests back into the Shepherd, silently grateful for the chance to get off his feet.]

[It's not nearly as uncomfortable as it was before, so that's good; Dezel feeling claustrophobic on top of feeling ill wouldn't be a good time for anybody.

Still- Sorey can feel that Dezel's not well. He doesn't feel sick himself, and it doesn't hurt to have Dezel there, inside his soul, but still he can tell something isn't right. It's like whenever the seraphim are wounded in battle and retreat inside of him to rest. Maybe this'll help him recover more quickly.

Sorey makes good on his word, heading straight for his quarters and having a seat on the edge of his bed.] You don't have to come out if you don't want, I know you're not big on sleeping. ...if, um, if being in there is helping you out though, you can stay. I'll just take care of my duties, and whenever you want to go back you can just let me know.

[That's the idea. Being around Sorey helps a little, but there's no denying it's something physical. He ought to be resistant to fatigue!!!! But it's more than that, apparently.]

This probably isn't what you meant by sleepover.

[Still.]

If it's all the same to you, I'll stay in here for a while.

You can stay as long as you like, Dezel. Get some rest, okay? [It's frustrating, that Sorey can't do anything more than just act as a vessel for him, but he'll do his best to keep his soul nice and calm and shove all those anxieties in his heart as far away as possible to protect Dezel for them while he's trying to recuperate.

Sorey continues along his day, mindful of keeping quiet and calm while he's working and taking various engineering requests and trying to keep a ship in shape when he only knows about half of what he's actually doing. It's an exciting learning process with this kid. Once or twice he brushes against the edge of Dezel's soul to check on him, but more or less he leaves him to his own devices. Hopefully it's not lonely in there without the other seraphim. Maybe he should go get Mikleo and see if he'd be willing to tag along...]

[Dezel is present, but lost in thought. It really is like when seraphim recover from a bad fight. He can practically feel Sorey's concern, and it nags him, but there's not much to be done.

Towards the end of the day he finally stirs, feeling stronger. He materializes without any real warning. He's so used to people being unable to see him that he steps out whenever he wants.]

Hmph. Maybe it is the air after all. [What.]

The...air? [At least Sorey's still used to it, though he's starting to forget what it's like to suddenly have people beside you after being here for so long.

He pulls himself out from a maintenance hatch and sits on his heels, staring up at Dezel as he wipes his hands off.] Do you mean the polluted air from the surface?

[Dezel leans against the nearest wall. It's his greatest superpower.]

Yeah. I thought only humans were affected by it. I was there for weeks without a mask and I didn't feel bad until recently.

You were trying to clean up, right? [Mikleo was, and Sorey remembers hearing something about it.] Do you think it's because you interacted with your element? Mikleo was doing the same thing.

Probably.

[He braces himself for the part where Sorey gets upset that no one asked him to help. The worst part is that he might not even get angry, he'll just give Dezel that look and even being blind won't fucking help him.

But maybe he'll be okay this time around.]

Are you mad that we didn't invite you?

I'm not mad, [Sorey answers, maybe a little too quickly. Anger is a thing he tries real hard to avoid.

Well, that and bitterness and guilt and anything else negative. Gotta stay pure! For everybody's sake.]

I would've liked to be included, but I know you guys were thinking of protecting me. But, hey! I'm pretty useless without you guys. Even if all I can do in a situation is amplify your powers, let me know.

[GOTTA REPRESS EVERYTHING!!!!! YEAH!!!!

That said, Dezel still... feels bad. Maybe he's growing a conscience. Maybe he's starting to acknowledge it exists.]

You're not useless.

[He is somehow very firm on this fact.]

The only reason I haven't become a hellion is because you're here.

[this tsun motherfucker has always had a conscience, he's just too busy being vengeful to listen to it]

Is that so? [Rather than making him feel relieved, Sorey's even more worried. He'd known the malevolence around here is bad and depressingly prevalent, but he hadn't known it was that critical.] Dezel maybe we can move to your ship. Or you can come to ours. I know you like your space, but with my domain so limited in reach-

It's not a problem with your domain. [He doesn't let Sorey finish.] Before I made the pact, I... had Rose. That was enough to keep my desire for revenge from overwhelming me.

[He's still full of issues. Full of regret and sadness more than anger, now. Any anger he feels is directed at himself; he's been avenged in a way, and he's had a taste of heaven.

But he still wants what he can't have. And besides that--]

The fleet is practically dripping with malevolence. I don't know how you've managed.

It's not as bad for me as it is for Mikleo, or you. It's not pleasant, but...we've managed worse.

[Dezel still wants revenge? Well...it makes sense. He died before avenging any of his friends. Sorey can't tell him that they've taken care of Symonne either, since she and Heldalf are still very much at large and more or less running the show.

Would Dezel even be happy to hear she'd been defeated? Maybe it's something he feels he needs to do with his own two hands.]

I know I'm not Rose, [Sorey says simply, without any kind of self-pity. Rose is someone special to Dezel. Not just because of her purity, but because of who she is. Whether or not she knew it, she was his companion for years. To be without that familiarity, and in the middle of all this, after something as traumatizing as what had happened to him- Sorey, he hasn't been giving Dezel the concern he should. He needs to be more attentive.] I'm not Rose, [Sorey starts over, and this time he shifts so he's kneeling before Dezel, fists on his knees. This'll probably make him uncomfortable, but it helps Sorey feel more grounded, more sure.] But I'm still your Shepard. If there is anything I can do for you, I want you to tell me. If you feel like you can't- then you can just come to me and I won't ask. I'm still your holy vessel, no matter what, Dezel. I will be for the rest of my life.

hey this is opal

sorry i passed out for a week

but now i'm ready for jerky

Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear you did the coma thing! That's no fun.

I've got some that'll be ready tomorrow, if you don't mind me bringing it over! Or, a few people have asked to help me hunt their own, if that's what you'd like.

i will never say no to sleep

not really the hunting type, so tomorrow is fine

That's a good way of looking at it, I guess. Nice and...optimistic. [which doesn't seem like it'd be her jam but u know what, whatever works]

I'll swing by in the morning. Wait- what ship are you on again?

yoooooooooooooooooooo sorey!!!!!

isn't this incredible

i don't even have to be in your head to say hi

ZAMBIA

ZEALOUS

WAIT ONE MINUET

dinosau r

you doing okay there, sorey?

Yup I'm okay now! I was getting chased by a pack of raptors.

BUT ZAVEID!!! You're here! Are you all right? Not hurt, not around too much malevolence...?

Maybe you shouldn't go around sending people messages while you're being chased? Are they hellions or something?

I'm fine, Sorey, don't go worrying about me. Just stuck on this tin can for a while.

No no, just regular animals. Can I call? I'd feel much better if I could hear your voice!

So you just let regular animals chase you, huh?

[oh god

IS HE GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME........TEARING UP LIKE THIS WHEN HE HEARS HIS SERAPHIM AGAIN.......]

N-no! [sorey stop that, stop it damn you self, you're going to make him worry...!] No, just- I mean, they're um, uh. [takes a deep breath] They're big! They're pretty big, yeah. And sharp.

[ oh ym god oh my GOD??? ]

... Yo, Sorey, you alright there?

I'm okay! I'm really- I'm great! [STOP CRYING GD IT] Um- it's- did you get an explanation yet? About- I mean, I know you probably just saw me but I- I just haven't heard your voice in months...I mean, I haven't seen you in like, almost the same amount of time I've known you and I- Y'know, it's just been a while, so, and...

[ Oh my god - ]

Hey, it's fine. I get it. It's not a long time for me, but it's gotta have been a while for you - and of course you'd miss the great, wonderful Zaveid!

Ah ha. [not untrue but sorey knows what that bluff and bluster is for.] I mean...even if it had been months for you, that's hardly anything, huh? [finally composing himself, god, how embarrassing. thanks for not humiliating him dude]

Time doesn't feel like anything for us seraphim, you're right. It doesn't work the way it does for humans. Still, missing one guy for months? You don't forget that sort of thing. Trust me.

Gramps mentioned something like that once. That at some point you stop measuring your life with numbers and start measuring with milestones and moments.

Your gramps is a smart man, Sorey. He knows what he's talking about!

Speaking of smart, you seem really at ease with this communication device! It took me forever to feel comfortable with writing- uh, with text. You're on the Marvisa now, right?

I just made it type with my voice, it seemed to like that. [ Truth: he kept pressing buttons until something worked, and it was only after he pressed about twenty times that he managed to work out how to talk to Sorey. ] But, yeah, seems like I'm stuck here for now.

Ahhh. I would come get you, but I can't get near that ship. And calling out true names doesn't work if you're too far away.

It's fine, Sorey. I can handle myself for a few days! Besides, it gives you time to celebrate my arrival properly.

What, you want me to set up a spread? Zaveid...I have some really bad news for you.

None of the girls are here.

[ That blows the wind out of his sails a little, but he manages to bring himself back together. ]

Damn. Someone out there must really hate us.

It's... complicated.

[a pause.] I don't want them to come here. I mean, I didn't want any if us to come here either, myself included. But as long as Rose is back home, with someone to keep her safe, I don't have to be as worried. She's strong.

And what happens if Rose comes here without the other two?

[ He can imagine what would happen if Lailah and Edna came and left Rose alone, or if Rose came without the other two. Sorey would lose his mind. ]

Then...hopefully Lailah can find someone else.

People have told me that while we're here, time is frozen. That when we make it back home, it's as if we were never gone. I can't really comprehend something like that, so I'm just trying to reassure myself, really.

You know they'll be fine, right?

[ His voice goes a little quieter. ]

Lailah, Rose... Edna... They're all really strong. If we're gone for a while they'd handle it until we get back.

That's pretty much the only reason I can still act the way I do here. I know the world is in capable hands.

Edited 2016-07-22 20:34 (UTC)

Then we've got nothing to worry about, right?

[ And here we go, back to cheer. ]

We can have fun for a little while, you and me. We can even get back to searching for those babes...

But Mikleo's already here. [??????]

[ JESUS -- ]

Not the kind of babe I mean, Sorey!

Plus, well, there's...someone else here you should be aware of.

...it's Dezel. He's here, alive. [sorry for the downer party dad]

[ Jaw clenched, and then - ]

Yeah. I heard.

Did you talk to him?

Nah. Meebo told me.

...are you going to?

Sure, I guess, when he finds me.

I could talk to him first, if you want. He might take it better if he hears about you from me.

We both know that's not true, Sorey.

[well, but...] My pact with him, it's- it's still intact. But I can feel the pact with you, too.

[ Well, this is just as awkward as he ever imagined that it could be. ]

Don't worry about it, your Shepherdness! I'll keep out of your head so he can have dibs.

What?! No! Why would you have to do that?

Have you ever had someone argue in your brain before? I'm sure it can't be fun.

Mikleo and Edna are always fighting. I'm definitely used to it. Even if I wasn't, I can handle it fine!

[ Goddamnit, Sorey isn't making this easy on him... ]

And what about Mikleo and Dezel? Think they'll be able to handle it?

-we'll figure something out. And I know Mikleo would say the same thing, so no trying to use him as an excuse! You're a part of us like everyone else is, Zaveid. You aren't just a replacement filling a need.

[ Aw, damn. Sorey goes and hits the nail on the head before he can even do anything, and Zaveid breathes out a noise. It's not that easy, and with history as it is - well. ]

Sure, whatever you say, Sorey. I'm just gonna need a little time, okay?

...okay.

But- Zaveid. If you need me, for whatever reason- promise me you won't hesitate to call for me. And I promise the same.

[ Aw, man... ]

Whatever you say. I'll call on you.

Hey Sorey.

I just got word that someone on the Caprine got a dragon egg from that giving tree. It's...hopefully harmless. [Hopefully] But I thought I should let Mikleo and you know so you weren't caught by surprise.

[In other words, you probably shouldn't kill someone's pet dragon. Talk about being a buzzkill Allen Walker.]

A dragon EGG??

Are you sure it's not dangerous?

Well, it's a dragon so I wouldn't say it's an ideal pet for a child.

But, I don't think it'll be the type of dangerous that requires an Exorcist or a Shepherd.

It's still A type of dangerous though! What if the dragon hurts them? Do they know what they're doing?

Ahhh, I'm sorry. I'm butting my nose in. I know you just told us so we wouldn't freak out, so thank you. It's just...well, you know.

[ There's a moment pause as he stares at this because haha w o w Sorey. You're like, a total mom.]

I'm sorry, I didn't really ask. I don't know the first thing about keeping a dragon, so I wouldn't be a good judge anyway.

...wait how BIG will it get? They're gonna keep it on the SHIP??

I don't know. I've seen small dragons! So maybe it might not grow as big as dragons can?

[Otherwise it's gonna suck for Caprine gosh]

[god save caprine]

I'm sure... okay I'm RELATIVELY sure that whoever got that egg is being contentious toward their fellow passengers.

[maybe. either way if it doesn't have anything to do with malevolence, he's not supposed to get involved.]

Glad I'm not on the Caprine though.

[Yeah he can't imagine whoever owns dragons would be very considerate to others either]

Me too. And I thought direwolves were bad enough.

Is this a common thing? People bringing dangerous animals back with them onto the ships?

Well...it's pretty new in the fleet, I'll admit. Before this planet, most of the pets were just foxes and glowing fish.

But in the last place I was in, it was practically normal. I remember once I was given a duck that could blow things up with his mind when he got a bad headache. That was something else, alright.

What on earth would a DUCK want to blow up with its mind??? Predators?

I don't know, I don't speak duck.

yo, sorey

you should check in on dezel

thanks

[yeah. he saw that argument on the network.]

I will.

Are YOU all right?

Sure I am! Nothing's gona keep me down.

Yeah, that DOES sound like you. [or like something he'd say because he thinks that's what sorey needs to hear.]

I can come to you too once I've seen to Dezel.

No need! I'm all good, don't you worry. Focus on him.

[ He's just bruised and sore. No big compared to Dezel's hurts. ]

I really don't believe you, but if you don't want me to come to you then I understand. [he's gonna sic teen mom on u tho]

C'mon, Sorey. We both know who needs you more right now. I can catch up with you later on.

[ Don't make him feel guilty, bro... ]

I know. [and while he doesn't believe zaveid is as 'all good' as he claims, he trusts zaveid wouldn't send him over to dezel first unless his needs WERE greater. he just wishes that-

no, no point thinking that way.]

I won't pry into what this is about, but do you think you two are all right for now?

"I'm not going to fight you anymore." That's what he said.

[well that's probably the best they can hope for.]

Alright.

I'm on my way over to him now. I'll make sure he's right as rain so don't worry.

I know. I trust you.

I trust you too. I know this wouldn't have happened if there was any way to avoid it.

After everything that's happened? I couldn't handle losing him too. Fighting it out was the only thing left.

I know what you mean.

...well, not exactly, obviously. But I couldn't handle losing him again either. So thanks.

All I did was fight him. Don't have to thank me for that.

Wasn't it hard? With how things are now.

It's not the hardest thing I've done. But I guess it was rough.

...are either of you thinking about renouncing your pacts?

You'd know about it if we were.

[look at that. right after he told zaveid he trusts him, too. what's the matter with him?]

I know. I know, I'm sorry.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Sorey. I was thinking about it. There's just no reason to now.

[so if they hadn't ended up slapping each other around, he'd have lost zaveid. ok that's not terrifying at all.]

I see.

[lailah would know what to say here, what to do here. he needs her. she'd know how to talk to them.]

C'mon, Sorey. We all know I was there to replace Dezel. It's not a big deal.

Maybe at first, as a wind seraph. But you're not JUST a wind seraph, and now you're my friend.

I told Edna when she joined up with us that I didn't want you guys to be like my tools. So you leaving, that's a big deal to me. I mean, we ARE friends, right? We're friends and a team?

[ Aww, damn sentimental Shepherds... ]

If we weren't friends I wouldn't trust you. I'm used to being alone. I'm not used to this anymore. But you're right, we are a team and we are friends. No going back on that.

Edited 2016-07-25 16:54 (UTC)

Please stop calling yourself a replacement.

Sure, Sorey.

[doesn't solve anything, but it's something.]

Thanks.

[ The thing is that Zaveid knows he's become part of the team, but he knows how he started too. Dezel comes first - that's how it has to be. ]

It's fine. Don't need to thank me.

That's gonna be a hard habit to break.

I could go back to fighting you...

...That might work.

Really?

No, Zaveid. Geez. No more fighting for at least two months.

Fine, fine. Two months.

Promise! ...or would that turn into an oath? Nevermind, don't promise. But please do your best!

Promises and Oaths are different, Sorey, don't you worry. I'll do my best, okay?

Yo, Sorey! How's it going?

[sorey hasn't liked the text function since he's arrived; for all his love of literature and history, he's always preferred face-to-face communication with people.

he's grateful for it now though. makes it so much easier to lie.]

I'm all right.

How are you doing? Is everything okay?

[ Huh. That's... Odd. But Zaveid doesn't make a comment on it, just keeps trucking along with his voice. ]

Sure, it's fine. Just making sure we don't all get caught up in the weird rivalry on the planet. Haven't seen you around.

To be honest I haven't even gone down to the planet yet. I can just picture the look on Lailah's face if I started sticking my nose into something like that.

You gotta come down and look at the stores, at least. I'll keep an eye on you.

Oh no that's okay I'm [crap]

sick.

You're a shoddy liar, you know that?

I really do feel unwell! And I have so much work to do on the ship and I don't have very much money anyway since I spent a lot at the last planet. [all true]

If you don't wanna spend time with my you could just say...

[ Zaveid wouldn't blame him. ]

No! No that's not it! I like your company, I swear.

You're leaping at the chance here, huh...

I normally would. It's just that now's not a good time. It's not you, I promise.

You sure you're alright?

[gosh, and he can't outright LIE. even though somewhere deep in his heart he knows this problem is more serious than he thinks, he can't just lie to someone concerned for him.]

I'm just not feeling up to it. I'd rather not go somewhere that'll end up making me feel worse. I have to be careful, after all. [for everyone's sake.]

I'm sorry.

Alright. If you're sure.

[ Zaveid doesn't really want to give it up, not since he promised the others, but... ]

Don't apologise. I get it - the malevolence down here is... Something.

It's really that bad? [He should be down there. He should be protecting them, even if Zaveid and probably even Dezel don't need it because of their experience with malevolence. But that's not the point, he's a Shepard, he has a duty and he should be purifying that entire planet but he can't and-]

Could you look out for Mikleo? He's gotten much stronger, but he's so used to having a protective domain.

It's not terrible, Sheps, we can handle it. They're all arguing and there's a whole lot of tension between the factions, but we can manage. It's no worse than being around any other human settlement. [ Which is true. It's no worse than all the things he saw wandering around alone, and he didn't have Sorey as his vessel back then. Just himself.

... But, jeez. Sorey and Mikleo are one hell of a pair, he thinks, and his voice comes after a short laugh. ]

Sure, sure. I'll keep an eye on him for you.

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.

Have fun down there for me?

Jeez, Sorey, it's like you don't know me at all. Ol' Zaveid always has fun.

Is that really true?

No- nevermind.

Sorey.

Don't worry about it. I'm just fretting over nothing.

Have fun.

C'mon, Sorey. If you wanna say something, or ask something, now's as good a time as any, isn't it?

[well... alright]

You told me before that older seraphim measure their life in moments instead of time, right?

Yeah. When you get old enough you stop measuring the years and just think about what happens.

Did you ever have a time when you couldn't remember having any good moments? You know you must have, but when you try to remember them, you come up blank.

[ ... Shit. ]

You want the serious answer, don't you? [ His voice is lower, now, quiet. ] I did. Knowing there were good times in the past, but not being able to name them? It's happened. I can remember it.

How

What did you do?

You make a promise.

[ It comes out, easily enough. ]

Not an Oath, but a promise to yourself, or someone else. A promise that keeps you going, something for you to remember. No matter how bad it gets, you have something to keep fighting for, something you need to do, and it makes you stronger.

[ "When I become a dragon, kill me. I don't want Edna to have to suffer for it."

But what about him? Why didn't Eizen worry about how he would suffer for it? ]

['Filk Zedeya' Sorey murmurs to himself. Of course.]

What if your promise is part of the problem?

[ Now he kind of wants to be sick. ]

Then it's harder, but you still keep going. Promises aren't made to be broken.

That's right.

You're right.

They're not.

No matter how hard they are. No matter how much you hate making them. They're there, and you can't just stop. It doesn't work like that.

[ And, now, his voice is hoarser, sadder, and a little like he's fighting back something. ]

Zaveid?

Yeah, Sorey?

[it takes a moment, but:] Are you all right? If there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here.

[ He hesitates, and there's quiet for a moment, but then - ]

Some promises are hard to keep, that's all.

Are you still working on some of them?

Not as many as I was. You helped with that.

[Zaveid's always been mysterious, but Sorey knows he hasn't done something like that for him.]

What do you mean?

[ ... Blink. ]

Eizen.

Eizen?

Edna's brother? What happened?

... You don't remember.

Of course I remember Eizen, we're still searching for a cure.

Did something happen? Did he leave Rayfalke?

[ ... This isn't the time. Zaveid knows that, and he takes a deep breath. ]

One of my promises was to him. You helped me figure it out.

You're hiding it from me. Why?

It's your future. I'm not gonna be the one to mess it up.

[it only takes a few moments to assemble the pieces and draw a conclusion sorey hopes to GOD isn't correct]

did we kill eizen

Do you really want to know?

[that's answer enough.

good thing zaveid didn't want to continue the conversation because sorey is outta here.]

Sorey, you're not going to believe the book I just found in one of the Spirit libraries. There's an entire encyclopedia of the wild animals they hunt here, and I swear that one of them looks exactly like a prickleboar! I can't check the book out myself, so let me know when you get this. I think Dezel would like it too, actually.

Did you get my message? You don't usually take this long. You better not have gotten lost again. I swear, I leave you to fend for yourself for a day... well, I'm going to Lavandula for a while. Call when you want to meet up.

Where are you? Would it kill you to call back, or leave a message, or something? Are you trying to make me worry about you?

I would say "this isn't funny anymore", but it never was to begin with. Come back to the ship, or tell me where to meet up, or-- I don't know, use your comm? This is getting ridiculous.

[The tone of this message is different; he sounds quiet, stressed, unusually tired.]

...I have no idea if you're even listening to these, but if you are... tell me you're okay. If you're mad, that's fine, we don't have to talk until you're ready. Just-- I need to know you're safe.

[There is no message. There is a long silence, a series of unsteady breaths, followed by an uncomfortable sigh before the sound cuts off.]

[A faintly muffled curse, and a familiar splash of water. It cuts off abruptly.]

[At first, there is no sound but the quiet hum of an engine- the inside of a shuttle, and the occasional shift of controls. Finally, an unsteady exhale.]

Dezel... would probably yell at me for doing this. Like it's giving up. That isn't my intention. ...If everything's over, and we're all fine, just delete this, all right? I'll probably say this to your face, anyway. You don't need a recap.

[The cockpit chair creaks noisily as he leans back, leaving enough of a pause between one sentence and the next, in case- in case everything is fine. In case this isn't even necessary.]

I keep trying to think about what I'll say to you... I want to be eloquent about it, tell you what you need to hear to make all of this go away. Truth is, I'll probably just yell at you. Logic and reasoning isn't going to do much in this situation, and I'm not Lailah. Everyone says I can do this, but... but I don't...

[His breath catches, and he stops for a long moment, until the hitch is gone from his voice when he continues.]

I'm going, anyway. I don't need to tell you why. At least, I... shouldn't. I never thought I had to, before. You and me, we...

...I should've asked. Days ago. Weeks, maybe. How long has this been bothering you? I kept waiting for you to tell me, but-- that didn't work last time, either. It's so stupid, in retrospect. We spend all this time studying history, hoping to learn from the past and improve our own future, but when the time comes--

[He stops again, and this time the sound that escapes his lips is too much like a sob for him to hide it.]

--Sorry. This isn't... how I wanted this to go.

Listen... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry. You know I'm angry. But I'll forgive you if you let yourself be purified. I don't care by who. I don't even care what happens between now and then. I don't... I mean, I do, I just- you know what I mean. You always know what I mean. You--

[A sudden, pained intake of breath; the comm skitters across whatever it's resting on as the shuttle swerves, and there's a long silence as Mikleo breathes in, out, in, out, trying to stabilize himself.]

...I'm not stupid, I know what this is. You were trying to protect me, right? Protect all of us. And if you're that far gone, maybe this is pointless. If it is, then... I'm sorry for that, too. But I have to try. I want to save you, and I can't just wait around. Would you?

[.....]

Hah... Gramps would really chew us both out for this. There wouldn't be a tree left uncooked in the whole forest by the time he'd be done yelling. He'd probably zap the malevolence right out of you, and everything would be back to normal again.

I wish he was here, Sorey.

[What follows is a long, trembling sigh. There's a distant plip-plip of drops of liquid hitting metal.]

I won't tell you what to do, if this ends badly. I won't ask you to make any promises for me. I always thought it was cruel to do that - "go on living for me"! - like they do in those stupid romance novels you used to read, like that one... what was that book called? You woke me up at 3 in the morning with snot all over your face, crying about some poor fictional couple who never got the chance to share a life together. I never understood why you liked those books so much. I'm not very romantic, I guess. Maybe I should've tried harder to...

....

I swear, if everything's fine and this message is pointless I am definitely stealing your comm and erasing it. Ugh... this is...

...A-anyway, I... I think you should talk to someone. About all of this. That's my request. What did Lailah say? "The burden of the Shepherd is not yours alone", wasn't it? It was something like that. Well, the burden of being Sorey should be shared, too. You spend all this time worrying about everyone else, and you hate to make others worry about you. But since we all just end up worrying anyway, you might as well tell us when something is wrong.

[Another pause, longer this time; the whole ship vibrates, entering the atmosphere, soaring towards a landing point. Only when the noises stabilize again does he speak up. His voice is faint, still strained and frightened, but... lighter, in a way. As if to prove his point: talking helps.]

Hey, Sorey? I'm really glad we left Elysia. Seeing the world outside of Gramps' domain, meeting everyone, getting to change the world... for all the complaining I did along the way, it really was a dream come true. I loved it.

[I love you.]

...I'd better go.

[DELETED.]

[Seeing all that destruction on the planet, the way Mikleo had torn apart the land, the trees, the rivers and houses, and how Sorey had led him to do it... It horrifies Clay, and partly because it's those two who did it. Them, who love nature and history, who work to preserve those things, carelessly destroyed the place. It really made it sink in just how badly this went.

And it's what prompts Clay to sit down after he's come back from that planet to gather some recovery supplies, find Sorey's number, and just... start talking.]

Hey, Sorey? I don't know if you're getting this. [Or if you care right now, he almost adds, but shuts his mouth before that comes out. That wouldn't be good to hear if Sorey hears this later.] I don't know what caused this. I'm not from a world like yours. I don't get the whole... malevolence thing. I've never heard of a... dark energy, I guess, being weaponized like that.

But I've seen what that kind of thing can do to people. When people feel like they don't have anywhere else to turn, no one to talk to, either because they're too prideful or just feel like they can't... it can really change a person. In my world, they can get bitter. They can start to not trust anyone around them. Then can get lonely, even when they're the ones who're isolating themselves. They can even turn into monsters. [...] Metaphorically.

Humans are frail. They give in to their emotions really easily. Even the most headstrong of them can slip up.

That's why humans have friends. That's why we need each other. We can actually lose our minds if we're completely away from human contact for too long. We're social creatures, and that's been a proven thing in my world. Even when we hide ourselves away, we still really need companionship.

[He rubs at the back of his neck.] I say I'm fine all the time when I'm stressed, or when I need to take on something, and it might seem like I'm just trying to push away what's bothering me. But when I'm done? I try to talk to Allen about it, or anyone who might listen. There's some things I know I can't do alone, and that's because I'm human. And... we're a great species, really. Despite all of our weaknesses, we still help each other. We're still there for each other, and sometimes the bonds we make last for a long time.

[He thinks of Apollo, how they've been best friends for years and years. How they've supported each other through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad.]

We really go above and beyond for each other. We try to save each other even if it could kill us. We figure out what someone needs and try to help as best as we can. We're weak, but we try. And when we try, we're capable of really amazing things. Like traveling to space, or making someone laugh, or...

[He shakes his head, trying to get more to the point.]

Sorey... you have friends who really want to help you. You can count me in for that, too.

If you ever feel that malevolence trying to come up again... drop me a line. Talk to me. I'll listen, I promise. That's what I'm here for... I'm your friend, and I want to help you.

You'll be fine... and we're here to make sure of that if you're not.

So... whenever you're ready, call me. I'll answer.

Edited 2016-09-11 04:56 (UTC)

[Lailah waits until the next day before getting into a serious talk with Sorey. They've all needed the rest, and she...she's needed privacy. Too much has happened all at once and repressing her feelings for too long is a sure way to fall.

The fire seraph is in front of the door to his room. She's sure that whatever she sees, it'll break her heart all over again. So, Lailah steels herself and knocks politely on the door.]

Sorey? May I come in?

[The knock startles him; how long has he been sitting on the edge if his bed, searching for the motivation to stand up?

...he's got a headache. Probably dehydration. Mikleo always...]

-oh. Uh. [Rubs his forehead. Lailah.] Yeah, please...please come on in.

[The fire seraph enters the room once she's given permission. She makes sure it's shut behind her before approaching Sorey. Lailah pulls up a chair so that she can sit next to his bed, hands folded in her lap. She doesn't give him pity, just...a shared sadness and grief.]

Sorey...have you had anything to eat or drink today?

[That's the most important thing at the moment. Lailah's experienced and seen grief too often to not know about some patterns.]

[Well, he hadn't been expecting that. He glances up at Lailah in surprise.]

Ah...n- [His eyes sting, sudden and sharp. Sorey, get up, stop sleeping on the floor! Geez. What would you do if I wasn't around? ] No, I h- I haven't, [and he grips his sleeves and bends forward, bowing his head before her, folding into himself in his grief.]

I'm sorry- I'm so sorry-!

[Lailah moves onto the bed and gathers Sorey up into her arms, petting his hair soothingly. She's doing her best not to cry, too, but a couple of her own tears fall anyway.]

Shh, you'll be okay.

[This is a pain she's always wished she could heal with a seraphic arte. All she can do is help them bleed out those emotions, support them as they grieve.]

I'm here. [But she's not Mikleo.] You'll be okay, Sorey. [Lailah has to believe if no one else will. If Sorey won't.] I'm sorry, too. [For so, so much.]

[It takes some time, pressed there into her side, but eventually Sorey can pull the sobs back into hiccups. He tried to deny himself her kindness for all of a second, and now he wouldn't be able to let go of her if someone pried at them with all their might.]

I did something unforgivable to all you, [Sorey mumbles into her shoulder, eyes closed, clutching at her dress. She's smaller than he is but right now she feels so encompassing, larger than life and he doesn't want to leave her arms and face the world, though he knows he has to.] Zaveid- I tried to- I-

Edited 2016-09-14 18:33 (UTC)

[She continues to pet his hair, feeling her heart break more at how he clings to her so desperately like this. As much as the fire seraph wants to shield him from the world, she can't do it forever. Sorey needs to learn from this. He needs to re-learn to trust himself.]

I know. [Her voice is sorrowful.] Zaveid told me. Honestly, I had no idea such a thing was possible.

[But that doesn't excuse it, does it?]

I can't speak for Zaveid or Dezel, but know that I forgive you.

[Lailah always will. Even though he tried tearing her soul apart, tried taking away her fire, she still forgives him. In the end...she always forgives her Shepherds.]

I owe you an apology, Sorey. I didn't teach you enough to handle your personal malevolence. Neither did I teach my Sub Lords enough to help you in my absence.

[It hurts, how easily she says that to him. Like her forgiveness is a foregone conclusion, despite what he did to her. Sorey shakes in her arms, too close to another breakdown before he manages to control himself again.]

No, you- You've always been there for me. I knew something was wrong but I still hid it, despite everything you've taught me. Zaveid even came to me, and I-I promised him that I would call him if I needed help but...I didn't. You have nothing to apologize for. [The idea of Lailah beating herself up over this is too much to bear. She can't really think this is her fault, she can't.]

Oh, Sorey....

[Despite her sorrow and guilt, there's still affection in her voice. Yet, it doesn't take away the feeling that she's at fault, too.

But there's no point scolding him about it. Sorey knows what he's done wrong and he's been beating himself up ever since his purification. Lailah just holds him a little tighter.]

I'm...I'm really glad you're safe. [There's relief in her tone, but she also sounds like she's fighting back tears.] We almost lost you.

[Sorey could've been another Shepherd she couldn't save, but he's not and for that, she's thankful. So thankful and glad that she really doesn't have the words to adequately express it. Yet—]

I'm still so sorry.

[For all that's transpired the past week.]

[It's almost as if she can speak right into his soul again; he can feel her sorrow, a regret so huge that it can't just be about he and Mikleo. Sorey's reminded that there's been two hundred years of Chaos before he came along; nothing said that there weren't Shepherds during this time.

...but Sorey isn't her Shepherd anymore.]

...thank you, [he murmurs, finally pulling back far enough to scrub at his face.] Thank you for coming to save me. Without you there, things would have been much worse. I-I could've killed everyone. Or taken Zaveid.

[Lailah lets him go easily, though she keeps a hand on him. Somehow, she manages to smile. It's a little sad, but it's still a smile.]

Of course I would've come to save you, Sorey. You're not just my Shepherd and vessel to me.

[Always, always, her Shepherds and Sub Lords are precious people in her heart. They're what make the job worth so much pain and heartache. Learning their dreams, their personalities, their hopes, being part of their lives...it makes her happy.

But this brings her to the topic they most need to discuss. Gently, Lailah brushes his bangs away from his face.]

Sorey...I want to give you a choice, and I want to give you time to think about it. [Lailah pauses only for a second.] I'm willing to reinstate the pact and become your Prime Lord again. However, I don't want your answer right this second. I want you to think about whether you truly want to try again.

[She squeezes his shoulder gently. Her words are gentle, but they're also firm. Lailah doesn't want him to rush into a decision. Not when they have time on their side, for once.]

I'm not going to push you one way or the other. [She smiles at him kindly. Yet...she remembers Michael, how he quit being her Shepherd. As much as it'll hurt, Lailah didn't force him to stay, and she certainly won't force Sorey.] This is your personal choice, and I'll support your decision no matter what. I'll still be your friend no matter what.

[Lailah probably sees the stricken look cross his face plain as day, but Sorey obediently bites his tongue and keeps his immediate protests to himself. She's right. He can't just make a decision here and now without even thinking about it, but- it's just unfathomable, him being Shepherd again. Not after what he did. Not after Dezel, and Zaveid, and her and-

And Mikleo.

...if Rose knew he'd fallen to malevolence, she'd probably kill him. She never tried to hide what her true goals were.]

Lailah, [Sorey begins, reaching up to touch her hand on his shoulder,] I wouldn't- Even if I said yes, [and he has no idea why Lailah would agree to it, after how he'd tried to hurt her,] I could't ask Dezel or Zaveid to come back.

...has this ever happened before? Anything like this at all?

[She sees it, and it breaks her heart to see it. However, she can't blame him. Sorey's done a lot of terrible things, and he's going to need to mend trust between the majority of them, not just himself.]

For Dezel and Zaveid, it's up to them whether or not they wish to rejoin as Sub Lords. They won't want to so soon after all that's happened, but you know they care about you, Sorey.

[Lailah hesitates. She has to be extremely careful, since this is toeing the limits of her oath.]

You're not the only fallen Shepherd I've had. You wouldn't be the last, either. You also wouldn't be the only one who has decided to not continue as a Shepherd. However.... [The fire seraph looks down as her eyes get a glassy look, squeezing his shoulder gently. It's as much for her own support as his, now.] Y-you're the first who's come back.

[She's cried about it already, but...it's still overwhelming.]

[That Lailah tries to answer him without skirting around the topic or even just staying quiet means a lot. It also impressed upon him the gravity of all of her decision. She's not choosing to take him back lightly; she's seen this before. She's seen good, pure souls fall to darkness, and she's seen people crumble beneath the pressure of it and walk away. That she's offering to be his Prime Lord again, after what just happened, after all the heartbreak she must have suffered...

Sorey's lips trembles and this time, he leans forward to embrace her. He'd thought it before, when he first saw her in the chapel; how lonely it must be to sit in one place, waiting with her heart in her hands for someone who will see her, who will help her. Her dedication, her fortitude seems miles and miles above his. He was just a silly boy who dreamed about being a Shepherd after reading about them in books and stone.

She's made this journey a hundred times, and she'll make it a hundred more if she has to.

And that's what gives Sorey the first flicker of hope he's felt since everything started to go wrong. He'd felt the crushing weight of being one Shepherd in a line of many, in a neverending march of death, a cycle of putrefaction and purification that would continue until the end of times, or at least until the end of humans. His life is fleeting; a small handful of decades within thousands and hundreds of thousands of years. Maybe even millions of years, eventually. So maybe, in the grand scheme of things, his journey, his role as Shepherd means nothing.

But Lailah, Zaveid- all seraphim, they'll live on forever, barring other circumstances. And seraphim don't measure the world with time.

They do it by moments.]

I'm sorry for almost putting you through that again, [he whispers, pressing his hands flat against her back and tucking his head against hers.] I didn't want to scare you. I'm sorry.

Edited 2016-09-15 04:21 (UTC)

[Lailah returns the embrace tightly, welcoming his comfort. She sniffs softly. She tries to surreptitiously wipe her eyes as she feels the tears threaten to fall.]

You came back. That's all that matters to me.

[How many have walked away from her because they'd given up on themselves, their dreams, her, or all of the above? How many times has she had to cut her pact with a fallen Shepherd and wait for another to quell them? One too many and Sorey came so close to joining those too many souls. At least this time, he can have the choice to continue being the Shepherd, and she'll be okay if he decides to walk away from that or her. Better that Sorey walk away than be part of the souls who died becoming the thing they said they'd quell.]

The last thing I want is for you to go through that again. That's why it's okay if you decide not to reinstate the pact.

[The fire seraph will attempt to pull away only so that she can look him in the eye. She wants this to be clear to him.]

The Shepherd's duty isn't something that should consume you. You as a person are just as important as purifying malevolence.

I don't- [Sorey pauses, gathering up his thoughts as best he can. Everything feels so visceral, and even though they haven't talked about Mikleo yet Sorey can feel that unfathomable, all-consuming loss waiting to devour him.

He takes a breath, and doesn't notice how a hand curls around Lailah's dress again.]

You said that before too, but I still don't understand. If- As a human, my life is so short. I won't live over a hundred years, and that's if I'm lucky. If so, shouldn't I be using every second to its fullest potential to make the world better?

[Lailah shakes her head firmly. Unbidden, Michael returns to the forefront of her mind. Even though it's been a human lifetime since then...it's still recent to her. How the burden broke something in him and made him think that it was pointless to continue, losing faith in humanity being able to coexist with seraphim.]

The Shepherd walks a very fine line. If you recall, Asura thought the same way, and countless others before him did, too.

[The fire seraph puts a gentle hand on the one gripping her dress. She holds it like she's trying to share her strength with him.]

You're only one person, Sorey. You can't possibly take on the entire world's troubles. Even one country's is too much. The sheer amount will eventually break you.

[Not once do her eyes leave Sorey's face. He needs to understand so that they don't repeat the same mistake others have made.]

You've seen how people reacted to simply hearing that there's a Shepherd again in Glenwood. By just existing, you've made the continent better because you've given the people reason to hope again.

[He stalls. He'd forgotten Asura. How could he have forgotten Asura? It was such a pointed lesson, nothing at all like Igraine had been, and Mikleo had been-

Had been right there with him. It was a lesson for them both. And now, though the pact is broken, Sorey still carries the strength of that trial in him even though Mikleo is gone. It had been hard enough with Dezel; talking about whether or not to do the trial again, if it mattered, like they hadn't lost a friend and just needed to complete a set.

He can't do that. He can't do that with Mikleo.

How can he be the Shepherd again after this?]

...maybe Rose would be the better choice, [Sorey murmurs, staring down at their hands.] She's been through a lot. She's more used to...to loss. [To losing people. Sorey isn't used to it- they lost Mason, right at the start, a weight that sits sour in his gut whenever Lailah's fire flickers in a way that reminds him of Mason igniting bonfires for them to dance around, flinging in pinecones to hear the snap and pop.

But now Mikleo, Mikleo, Mikleo-]

I don't know. I don't know, [he tells her brokenly. He wants to tell her he has hope, that he'll think about it, but he can't. He can't bring himself to think about it without his mind circling back around to Mikleo, Mikleo, Mikleo. He can't think of what the world needs. He can barely think of what they need.]

-you...will you guys be all right without a vessel in the meantime? While- while I decide? [Sorey glances up at her, tearing his mind away from Mikleo (Mikleo, Mikleo) to try and consider the others he loves more than his whole being.] If we need to set up shrines for you then I have a few ideas. And- and if one worshiper is enough I can tend to them, but if you all need your own I can find people to help. I'm sure there'll be people who'll help.

Sorey, that's not fair to say. Not to you, not to her, not to any of us who have known the loss of someone close. [Lailah's chiding is gentle, but firm.] No one is truly used to grief.

[Out of the entire group, Zaveid and Lailah may as well be experts on the subject. It's their methods of coping with it that differ.

When he speaks so brokenly, she places a hand on his cheek. The fire seraph gives him a warm smile, trying to be reassuring.]

We'll be alright. There's not much malevolence in the area to be a threat. If it becomes a problem before you're ready to decide, we'll let you know and we can work through a solution. Together.

-right. That was insensitive, I'm sorry, [and he is. Of course. It's not like someone just stops loving people because of the ones they've lost. Of course it's not something you just...get numb to.

Sorey half wishes it was.]

I'm- Lailah, I'm concerned about Dezel though. Will he be all right without a vessel?

It's alright.

[Lailah considers it. It's a good question, frankly, but after talking to Dezel....]

I believe so. He's let go of a lot of his anger, so he should be fine without a vessel. However, I'll talk to him about it and see what he'd like to do.

[After all, it's the wind seraph's choice in the end.

Lailah hesitates for a moment, but...there's one thing that needs to be addressed. The elephant in the room. The ache in Sorey's heart that she knows is there. It's something that she needs to talk with him about before she leaves him be to think, at the very least.]

Sorey...I know it's hard for you, but we should talk a little about Mikleo.

[Preferably before he drowns in his own grief. This isn't something Sorey should be left to sink or swim alone in.]

Please don't, [he whispers desperately, almost cutting off the tail of her sentence. His hand is tight under hers, around her dress, his other clutching at the front of his shirt so hard his knuckles are white.] Please. I-I can't. Not yet, I can't.

[Her hand leaves Sorey's cheek and clutches at the hand on his shirt.]

Shh, Sorey, it's okay. I'm not going to force you right now. I only wanted you to know that I'm here if you want to talk to me about it or if you wish to have something to distract you from it. And...that I'm sorry.

[Sorry that her purification will never be strong enough to revert a dragon. Sorry that no oath she can take will ever be strong enough to do so. Sorry that there was no other option. Sorry that he'd lost another person so dear to him.]

[He swallows and nods, though that's another thing he's not sure he can give her. Being a Shepherd again? Talking about Mikleo? Both of those goals are so incredibly far out of his reach right now...they might be that way forever.

Lailah's hands are warm over his; Lailah is always warm. Maybe it's a fire seraph thing. Or maybe it's just a Lailah thing.]

I'm... [Sorey pauses, then reaches up to cover her hand with his, draws both her hands into his own and lowers them to his lap.] I think I'm thirsty, [he murmurs, because that's something he can do. He can get a drink of water.]

[Lailah allows him to do so, of course she does. Just like she'll still allow him to have her fire if he asks for it.]

Then let's get you something to drink and at least a small snack.

[The fire seraph squeezes his hands gently, encouragingly, like she'll go with him if he still wants her company. She won't leave Sorey. She had no choice with Michael or the other Shepherds, but she'll take advantage of the freedom to do so now.

One step at a time. As long as they can keep it one step at a time, Lailah's sure that Sorey will heal.]

[There are two things that appear at Sorey's door: a big thin box, far too tall for a normal present, and a letter tucked into the lid.

The box contains a huge fancy cake, flavored a delicate vanilla (since he has no fucking idea what Sorey likes). The letter is written on fancy stationery and reads as follows:]

Sorey,

I do not know you personally but I understand you lost a friend recently. He was my friend, too, and his cooking was as gentle as his soul. I cannot ever hope to replace him, and I will not try, but I think he would want you to continue eating delicious things in his absence.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I reside on the Bishop and I check my messages often.

Belthazar Spellscry

[It's amazing how she can sound so deadpan while also sounding quite alarmed.]

Sorey. I know things are messed up so if you don't want to have this conversation it's okay, but.

Do you have any idea why my girlfriend is a child right now I am highly alarmed.

Edited (html is the bane of my existence) 2016-09-18 20:27 (UTC)

Opal's a child? No, I had no- did you find her somewhere? Is she okay?

Did you not see the post about the child who's on the Pathstone now.

Wh-

[THAT'S-] Natalie is Opal? I didn't know! I- I've been looking after her, she's okay...I just thought she was a new passenger who got moved around in a weird way.

Yes. That's her. I will explain name shit later. Just... Please look after her? I'm in the clinic still.

[why is this my life, sorey. help.]

And I don't think she'd be able to see Seraphim like this, so please don't freak her out too much.

Mm, don't worry. Just concentrate on getting better, I'll make sure she's okay.

Thank you.

And I'm sorry if she starts asking awkward questions. I am not good at hiding things.

Awkward questions about wh- [Oh. Oh dear.] ...you should know that lying isn't exactly...I'm not really all that good at it either...

You're better than me right now?

If you say so. [Sorey sincerely doubts it, but he'll just go quiet or tell Opal he doesn't know. Because he probably doesn't.] Is there something you want me to avoid telling her?

... Probably best to avoid the 'you have a girlfriend in the future and she's in the hospital' talk. Or that she's older normally at all.

Yeah, don't worry about that one. I doubt she'll ask me anyway.

I hope not. Turning into a child is bad enough, existential crises make it even worse.

Yeah no, she doesn't need that kind of grief. I've never looked after a child before, but I think I can handle it. [probably]

If you can't, call me and I'll see if I can help?

[THIS IS A BAD IDEA]

You got it.

...want me to call you even if I don't need help? [since this is her girlfriend and all]

... Maybe? If it would help? But I might say something stupid.

I'll call you when she's not around. Don't worry about it. [seriously don't worry about anything, you should be doing the opposite of that in a hospital]

My girlfriend is like six years old I'm worrying about it.

[FAILED STEP ONE]

...okay, that's fair. What I mean is, don't worry about her being safe. Everything else can be figured out once you're well. So, try to concentrate on resting, and when you're out of the clinic we can pool our resources and figure this out.

Right.

... Thanks. For all of this help.

You don't need to thank me. This is just what people do.

Accept my thanks or I will hit you with my staff again.

I mean, you are all the way over there...

I won't be here forever.

Will you even remember this conversation later, though? You're on a lot of pain medication... [yeah teasing is a lot better than her being worried and him being depressed, let's stick with this instead]

I don't forget things. Except by bullshit magic amnesia.

[... Normally, anyway. It's still up in the air whether or not she'll remember this in particular.]

I guess I should probably work on my dodging between now and then.

Can you dodge in your sleep?

Luckily, I'm not doing much of that right now.

Do I need to hit you with Sleep magic.

Yes, please, actually, when you're well. I would very much appreciate it.

It lasts for about half an hour, at most, but even that helps. And you don't have dreams or anything during it.

[... she's not going to get into how she knows this.]

[yeah it's ok he can probably guess]

Yeah, just the falling asleep part is the hard thing. Truthfully I've been trying not to use that tea...since even if you can get more, it's still a limited resource. Better to conserve where possible, right?

[good thing she's obvious huh]

You're probably right, but it's hard for me to go without at all. If you're having better luck, then I'm happy about that...

I can bring what I've got back over to you. And take Nat- um, Opal with me, so you can see her for yourself.

Are you still having trouble with sleeping?

...It's not bad.

If you're lying, I'm going to kick your ass, you know.

Okay, it's not good but I really don't like using the tea. If you need it I'd rather give it back to you than just keep it around on the off chance I might need it.

[... she can't argue with that, but]

At least keep a little for that off-chance.

Deal.

Can I come by later today?

Of course. I'm not going to turn down company.

Am I bringing Natalie?

Ye- No, wait, n-

...

Up to you, I guess...?

[THIS IS CONFLICTING]

...maybe she should stay. Since you're still having trouble with not saying things you'd rather keep secret.

... That's probably best... I'd probably say something stupid.

I'll just come alone then, and ask someone to keep an eye on her here.

Want me to bring you anything else? Do you like sweets?

... Honestly, I really want some alcohol, but I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed while I'm on painkillers.

Also I have no idea where to get some, so how about some mochi instead? It's pretty good.

What's mochi?

It's kind of like a really small bun, but chewier. It's made from rice paste instead of flour. I'll bring some with me.

That sounds good... I'll try it, thanks.

sooooo that all happened

re: the last two weeks or so yikes

['yikes' is right]

So you DO remember.

Doing okay? No weird side effects?

sure do, and yeah i'm fine

there's probably something else we should talk about though

[Yeah, probably.]

Sure, of course.

Do you want to meet up for that, or over the comms?

whatever you want dude

i'm all for minimizing awkwardness however possible i just want to know what was up

Probably better to keep it like this then.

Long story short, I was consumed by this
dark energy
I guess you could call it, and I turned into something called a hellion. Had all my memories and pieces of my personality intact, but it was warped. I was me, but I wasn't.

So when I attacked Nightingale, it was very personal. And in the mind I was in, it felt justified and necessary. I knew what I was doing.

And I'm so sorry.

i don't want an apology

but i do want to know what you mean by dark energy

Malevolence. All humans generate it; usually brought on by conflicts of the heart, doubt, fear, hatred, things like that.

There's a lot of it on the Fleet. I thought people couldn't become hellions because it was behaving differently from home, but obviously I was wrong.

man

that sucks

[she's so eloquent.]

[she's wonderful]

That about sums it up.

i'm sure you feel like absolute shit so i won't beat you up about it

just... idk that's rough

I can't feel sorry for myself. What happened is in part a result of my negligence; back home, it's my duty to PURIFY malevolence so I know pretty well what makes it happen.

But. Thank you, for not hating me for what I did. I'd be lying if I said it isn't a relief.

yeah don't throw yourself a pity party but also don't silently beat up yourself up for 1000000000000 years

don't get me wrong though if you ever touch nightingale again i will personally destroy you

Noted, and thanks for that. Please make sure I can't get back up.

uhhhhhh are you asking what i think you're asking

jesus christ i didn't mean i was going to LITERALLY destroy you man

No! I don't mean kill me, just. Absolutely stop me.

But it's a moot point, because I'm not gonna let it happen again.

how the hell would you expect me to do that i showed up for like two seconds and you almost killed me via dragon

ok moot point though got it

If it makes you feel better, there's someone here now from home who can easily stop me. And she's usually the one who helps guide me so that doesn't happen in the first place.

wow that's an extreme case of poor timing

That's true, though she did get here in time to keep things from getting much worse.

...you know, I'll be honest, I didn't expect you to contact me.

why's that?

oh is it because i told you to go fuck yourself

That's the biggest factor, yeah.

the fuck you was more directed at whatever had taken you over

i mean your face was all weird & past experience with bullshit possession stuff made me 95% sure it wasn't actually you

Nightingale mentioned something like that, that you guys have experience with that sort of thing.

yeah it's a long story and it doesn't really matter

the thing is i get that it wasn't your fault just so that's out there

Thanks. I really never intended to hurt her, I swear.

I think she might be beating HERSELF up over this, of all things. Does she do that often? [two thousand credits says she does]

if i had to guess i would say she does that around 75% of the time

If you had to guess? Aren't you guys close?

that was me being slightly secretive because it's not really my place to tell you how she thinks or feels while simultaneously acknowledging that you're correct

also no we aren't close at all, clearly

Alright, alright. I just wanted to know if I should make sure to address that.

yeah

i have one more question if that's okay

What is it?

"brought on by conflicts of the heart, doubt, fear, hatred, things like that"

what happened to you

Sorry.

I wish I had an answer for you.

[after a few minutes of silence]

you know i didn't think you would be totally honest but i didn't think you would be this full of shit either

nightingale and i, we almost got eaten

I swear, I don't know. Please believe me. I don't think it was just one thing, but I have to think about it.

[Well, he knows something that might've acted as an accelerant, but he's not about to share Dezel's personal demons with someone else. Maybe he should've been a little more understanding about Opal not wanting to talk about Nightingale.]

you know you could just say "i don't want to talk about it"

it would still be frustrating but you're a shitty liar and this is just sad

Sorey.

[!!!!] Zav- [CLATTER. he dropped it.]

...Zaveid. Hey. Hi. Everything okay?

Edited 2016-09-30 18:59 (UTC)

Sure, everything's fine. Just wondering if you were busy.

[aahh jeez.] No, no; I'm with Mikleo, but he's about to nod off again.

[Mikleo chimes in, distant and cranky,] Shut up, no I'm not.

Yes you are. Do you need me to come meet with you?

[ It takes him a little while to respond, but he manages it. ]

When Mikleo's asleep.

Sure, give me...thirty minutes? Where do you need me?

[ He didn't think about that. Shit. ]

I can come to your ship.

[Not a single joke or quip.

He must have guessed it right. Something precious has been destroyed.]

Okay. I'll meet you in the docking bay.

[ To be fair, there's not much to joke about. ]

I'll see you soon, Sorey.

[It never stopped him before.

Mikleo actually gets annoyed and kicks Sorey out before he completely falls asleep, probably half because he's irritated and half because he knows how nervous Sorey has been about Zaveid. Don't come back unless you've talked with him properly, he'd ordered, shoving at Sorey until he got off the bed.

It's hard, seeing Mikleo like this. Lethargic, quiet...sometimes seeimg or hearing things not there, as if stuck in a dream.

Sorey's left with little to do but worry about him and worry about Zaveid as he waits in the cargo bay, sitting up on a crate, heels tapping gently against it as he swings his legs.]

Edited 2016-09-30 21:07 (UTC)

[ It doesn't take Zaveid too long to get there; he lets twenty or so minutes go by before he turns up, the shuttle docking in before he makes himself comfortable and waits for Sorey. There's a quiet part of him that's worried about how this is going to go, how things are going to change, but... He can't avoid it forever.

Not after the voicemail. Not after talking to Mikleo.

When he spots Sorey there's a moment of pause, but there's no fear. He saw the Shepherd in the hospital afterwards, he saw him weak and sad, and he saw him quiet and trying. It's enough, but he still feels tired, on edge, uncertain.

He has to get better, he thinks, stronger, above the pain and the hurt. He has to. ]

Yo, Sorey.

[Come to think of it, he hasn't even seen Zaveid since he reformed the pact with Lailah. He looks the same as ever (save his hair, though it seems to be growing back out quickly), but there's something... changed.

Not like the hostility from before when Zaveid jumped them on Rayfalke or outside Pendrago. This is different. Hesitant.

Sorey doesn't stand up, though he looks up from his laced up fingers nervously. Maybe being down here will help put Zaveid at ease.] Hi. ...your hair is coming back out.

[ His hair moves up and touches the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair before he shrugs a shoulder, trying to look nonchalant. It takes him a moment, but eventually his lips twitch and he nods his head. ]

Sure. One of the perks of being a seraph, didn't you know?

[ The downside is, of course, that you have to keep cutting it, but... ]

I think I might miss the short look - what do you think?

You look a little like if Dezel pulled his hair back. [Smiles, just a bit.] It looks good, but you seemed to really love it long.

Edited 2016-09-30 21:57 (UTC)

That's because the ladies like a man with long hair, Sorey... ~

[Yeah, Sorey doesn't know anything about that.

He sobers, hands still clasped and pressed between his knees as he tries to make eye contact.]

...you sounded like you had something you need to say.

[ Ah.

The time for jokes is over, then.

Zaveid breathes out, lifting his head and pursing his lips before he nods, once. ]

I want you to tell me why you want to be the Shepherd.

[Sorey meets Zaveid's eyes, finally, at his tone before looking back down at his knees. It's not like the question requires thought; Zaveid wants his honest feelings, and Sorey will give them to him. Whether or not that influences any decision Zaveid makes, well, that doesn't have any bearing on what he needs to say.]

It's not out of guilt, [he begins, because he knows that for certain. It's not as if he's become the Shepherd again to try and right his wrongs, or to make up for what he'd done.] And when I first agreed to this in Ladylake, I really didn't know what I was getting into. Lailah warned me, but the reality of it just didn't sink in. Now...

[Sorey takes a deep breath and lifts his head to meet Zaveid's eyes again.] Now I truly know what it means to be a human being. [His hands clench between his knees to the point of pain as he tries to keep them from shaking.] I'm...I'm flawed. I'm capable of anger, and sadness, and loneliness. And I'm capable of ego. Everything that can make a human being generate malevolence, I have the potential for all of that inside of me.

I want to be the Shepherd because I- I want to accept all of myself. I was raised by seraphim, and...and sometimes I can't understand humans. But I'm also a human being, and now I know the pain and fear they experience when they feel trapped. I want to do everything in my power to make the world livable for both. So humans can live without that fear, and so seraphim can live without that corruption.

[Sorey bows his head.] I'm sorry it's such a selfish reason. Sometimes it feels a little like being torn between two families, but I don't want there to be sides. To be an 'us' and a 'them.' If there's a way to bridge the gap between the ideals of seraphim and the ideals of humans, I want to spend the rest of my life searching for it.

Edited 2016-10-04 05:04 (UTC)

[ Sorey clears up Zaveid's worries almost instantly; he didn't want this man to return to being a Shepherd out of guilt or uncertainty or because he felt as though he was obligated. The only thing that would happen then is that there would be more pain, more suffering, more darkness and malevolence around him and they might not be able to save him the next time. He might not even want to be saved, and that's something they need to think about, from now into the future.

For now, he just stands and he listens.

Tilting his head up, Zaveid nods, once, sharply. ]

You've always been human, Sorey. Sure, you were raised with us seraphim but that doesn't change what you are in your heart. I think you forgot that along the way. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just... You gotta know who you are, in your core, otherwise you're never gonna be able to keep yourself safe and happy.

[ His expression softens before he lifts his hands, shrugging. It's almost shockingly familiar. ]

C'mon, everyone's a little selfish in their own way. You've got nothin' to worry about.

[Zaveid shrugging and sounding much like he always does is reassuring, but he also tends to hide a lot. Of course, what he's saying isn't wrong, either.]

Thanks... It's just a hard thing to come to terms with. [Sorey hesitates before he scoots over on the crate in a clear invitation. He's still not sure if Zaveid is wary about being so close to him and he doesn't want to force it, but he wants Zaveid to know it's there, if he wants to try.] Can I ask you something?

You should remember you're still young, too. It's okay to need to learn things as you go as well.

[ Because he's barely a dot in the lifetime that Zaveid has lead, and that's both terrifying and comforting. He simply has to accept it as his lot in life, but... ]

You just did.

[ Been spending too much time with Lailah? Maybe. ]

...you've been hanging out more with Lailah, haven't you? [YOU GET TO KNOW PEOPLE WHEN THEY LIVE INSIDE YOU]

What? Were you expecting me to ignore a beautiful lady?

[So she's been to see him. Unsurprising.]

Have you ever resented humans?

Huh?

[ The question makes him pause and he considers, for a moment, before he shrugs. ]

Sure, maybe, once. But then I grew up and I realised that you humans are like little kids to us seraphim. You don't get much time to grow up, so there's no point resenting you for things you can't control, right?

[That kind of feels a little...well, it's not like Sorey can say anything about it. He more or less proved Zaveid's point all by himself.]

I see. I suppose I can't argue with that.

[Sorey slides down from the crate.] Have you talked to Mikleo yet? He was asking after you, when he first came back.

[ At least he doesn't say it to be cruel, or intentionally mean; he's too old to think so two-dimensionally about humanity. He's had good and bad experiences, too many to count, and he can't just drop them all on Sorey right now. ]

That's gotta be a first. You always argue with me.

[ But then he's crossing his arms, breathing out. ]

Yeah, I went to see him.

[Yeah well. It's a lot easier to argue back when you've got a leg to stand on.]

Mikleo doesn't resent you, or blame you or anything. He told you, right?

[ Jeez... Zaveid almost winces. ]

Yeah, I got the whole speech. Don't really need to hear it again.

Just checking. [He didn't think Mikleo would let Zaveid get away without saying it, but the guy has a way of changing the topic to avoid things he doesn't want to hear. And Mikleo's tired.] So what now? Now that you've heard my answer.

[ It's true; Zaveid had made a good effort to try and keep the conversation away from the obvious, but Mikleo was about as stubborn as he was - there really was no escape. Now all he can do is breathe out, leaning back to stare up at the roof above them. ]

Now I guess I gotta go talk to Lailah.

Are you gonna be her sublord again? [Not sure how he feels about that, still. But that's probably not going to be resolved any time soon.]

I'm gonna talk to her first. See what happens.

[ Because the two of them are both still uncertain - him and Sorey - and there's no point making a pact when their relationship would only sour it. ]

I'm worried about her. [Sorey folds his arms and sighs, bowing his head.] But she never really lets me worry too much. She showed up right in the middle of this, and then she was looking after everyone... She's working herself awfully hard.

[ Zaveid breathes out quietly. ]

I'll keep an eye on her, don't worry. She might not talk to you about it, but I'll get her to talk to me. Alright?

Alright. [Sorey sighs heavily and slumps back down onto the crate.] ...Zaveid, if you did take the sublord pact back up, what would your reasons be?

Edited 2016-10-13 06:19 (UTC)

... I have things I need to do. You know I've got a score to settle.

[ He doesn't quite know how much Sorey does and doesn't know these days; can he talk about Maotelus? Can he mention the things he learned? Zaveid's not sure. He makes it obvious either way.

When he continues, though... His voice is quieter. ]

It's been a long time since I was around people. Maybe I missed it. Being a part of something.

[Sorey expected the first reason; it's the same one Zaveid gave in the beginning, and it's not as if they've accomplished what they set out to do just yet. Even considering Eizen.

It's the second part that gives him pause. He remembers a few things Zaveid had spouted off before he joined up with them, about traveling alone as he killed hellions one after another. Because he'd promised, and because he believed there was no other way for him to save them...and then he'd joined up with the Shepherd crew and purification had suddenly become an option.

Sorey clenches his fist.

I won't ask you to come back-

No. No, that's the opposite of what Zaveid needs right now. And Sorey is never again going to use the excuse of protecting others to hide how he wants to protect himself.]

...I'm going to make a world where you can do that, without making promises you hate. That's still true.

If that's something you want, then...I want you back. [Sorey looks up at Zaveid, determined.] Come back and lend me your strength. [He bows his head, knuckles pressed to his knees.] Please.

[Last time Zaveid had bullied his way in and Sorey had only reluctantly agreed. He had been a replacement, a necessary one but not entirely welcome by those still grieving.

This time he should do this right. Zaveid should be asked to help, the way it should be, for all seraphim. Zaveid needs to be shown he's just as cherished as everyone else who has lended Sorey their power so he can achieve his dreams.]

Edited 2016-10-13 21:08 (UTC)

[ It's hard to be honest, and it's hard to say exactly what he wants to, but he does his best. Sorey has been honest with him, and when he asked... He knows that the Shepherd spoke from his heart. Zaveid has no right to hide things, to deny them, to pretend otherwise, and even if his past is a murky sea of pain and heartache he knows his future can be brighter.

He doesn't want to hide things anymore. It's too hard. He feels like he's wandering around in circles trying to find an answer to a question he hasn't even been asked, and it leaves him on edge and uncertain because he genuinely doesn't know what to do. He knows he has to talk to Lailah, of course, to figure things out, to make sure this is really going to be okay, but until then...

Zaveid breathes out, looking down at Sorey for a moment.

It's hard not to feel so desperately old when he remembers just how young Sorey is, but for his age... He's strong, and bright, and brave, and maybe that's all that matters for now. ]

...

[ He doesn't have to think about it anymore. Slowly, he wraps his arm around Sorey's shoulders and ruffles his hair. ]

Jeez, if you need me that badly then I guess I can't say no.

I am begging you. Literally. [Said with a little bit of humor, but it's the truth. Enough of Zaveid thinking he's still a replacement. It's not true, not anymore.

Plus, that grab and hair-ruffle means the world to Sorey. Lailah told him that he needed to trust himself just as much as he needed the trust of others, and it's going to be a long road but having Zaveid back with him will help everyone, in the end. If Zaveid is willing to throw in with him again- hell, even if he needs some convincing, Sorey will do what he can.]

Sheesh, c'mon, Sorey. Where's your manly dignity, huh? [ Mostly said because Zaveid feels a little awkward and uncomfortable, a touch on edge because he's not sure how to handle this.

He knows how he feels. He knows what his place was, before, when he had first become a Sub Lord. Things are different now and his reasons have changed ever so slightly - he's not just there to fill a void, or to endure something until his mission is complete. It's... Voluntary now, and he... Doesn't know what else to do. ]

I still don't really know what you mean by 'manly dignity,' you know. [like what's the difference from the regular kind

But Zaveid doesn't need any more begging from him. Sorey's made himself clear. And Zaveid's probably got a lot to discuss with Lailah, not to mention Sorey gets more on edge the longer he's away from Mikleo...] I should probably go make sure Mikleo's all right. [he's literally fine] I left a note, but...

Maybe you'll learn when you're older. [ Because he's still so young.

(It's enough to make him feel sick, remembering, but he can't let that show on his face.)

Nodding, he pushes himself up, stretching his arms above his head. ]

Yeah, yeah. Can't let him wake up worried and go wandering around in his condition.

I doubt he would, he knows his limitations. [Unlike this kid. Not that he'll admit to it.]

Thank you, Zaveid. I feel better knowing Lailah's got you to support her. [He said he would protect everybody, after all. Sorey doesn't think Zaveid's ever said a single thing truer than what he told him in that clinic.]

Sorey, a favour. When you come back, I need you to bring some of the paperwork from the captain's section of the bridge.

[He's trying to keep it on the down-low, but he still manages to sound especially tired and miserable, which is saying something considering the week he's had. Today has been... not good. Really not good at all.]

[Sorey's voice automatically goes gentle in a way it usually doesn't with Mikleo. Their familiarity usually calls for a touch of coarseness even when being kind, but Mikleo being so exhausted has brought on Sorey's worry like nothing else.]

Sure, of course. I'll be done in here in just a few minutes. [Clank clank, putting away his tools.] Which of the files do you need?

[Mikleo doesn't miss it, as it's come up a lot lately, but he has no objection, either. Telling Sorey not to worry these days is like telling water to stop being wet. Until he's better, it'll just be the state of things. He's resigned to his fate.]

Any of it is fine. It all needs to be done eventually. I just need something to keep myself occupied.

[Doing actual paperwork rather than reading - that is, keeping his hands busy - will keep him awake. He needs that right now.]

Clay helped me figure out the inventory so you don't have to worry about the reordering paperwork at least, I handled that. The maintenance log is caught up too.

I'll bring you the evaluations and all the approvals; probably shouldn't get everything all at once anyway. [More like he doesn't want to give Mikleo an excuse to overwork himself.]

You've been busy.

[It's good, actually- not necessarily that Sorey might have overworked himself in order to stay distracted, but that he'd been able to keep going with it after everything that had happened. Although the downside is it means less for Mikleo to do. He'd been sort of hoping for a big pile to pick away at.

Well, there's always the sewing. He has enough projects...]

That'll be fine for now. I got myself to the desk already.

[He didn't even fall over in the process! Or if he did he's not telling anyone, hah.]

Oh, I'll hurry up then. [He can finish cleaning up in here later.] I'll see you in a few minutes, hang tight!

[Sorey snaps off the feed and pockets his comm, books it to the captain's office and stacks up the files he can bring to Mikleo. There's a database with all the information inside, but it's just easier to do it with papers that you can actually hold and write on. Trying to do all the work on that 'computer' thing was as annoying as being on a comm for hours. Headache-inducing.

Sorey tucks the files under his arm and heads back to Mikleo's room, tapping his knuckles against the door in warning before letting himself in.]

Mmm, I forgot, there were also requests for sponsorship endorsements? I'm not sure what the deal is with this but it seems like it's for you.

[As he'd already mentioned, Mikleo is still at his desk when Sorey arrives, one of the numerous books they'd gathered open in front of him. Nothing unusual there- aside from the fact that he doesn't really appear to be reading it at all. His eyes aren't moving over the page but rather staring down at a single spot, his expression vacant, as if he's not quite there. His communicator is flashing lightly on the table, the last message left unchecked- Mikleo's hands are in his lap instead, idly twisting together over and over.

He's had spells like this on and off all week, ever since he returned, but this is the first time he doesn't look up at Sorey's voice, nevermind the knock that came before it.]

[Mikleo doesn't even so much as twitch when he comes in and it's not the first time he's been a little lost in his head, but it's definitely the first time he hasn't been able to snap himself out of it. Sorey carefully closes the door behind himself, not wanting to startle him. Today's not a good day already; the last thing Mikleo needs is to be even more afraid.]

...Mikleo? Are you with me?

[A moment passes, and then Mikleo jerks his head upright, his hands going still in his lap. Very slowly and tentatively he slides them up to grip the arms of his chair, tilting his head first to one side, then the other, taking in the room as if he's never seen it before.]

I'm... yeah. Sorry. Can you- can you get the lights? It's... why's it so dark in here?

[He half-turns towards Sorey, still not focusing, his expression twisted in confusion, his pupils dilated. The lights are definitely already on.]

[Oh dear. It's one of these.

Sorey reaches over to set the files on the bed and takes a few cautious steps forward, sinking into a crouch beside Mikleo's chair.]

Hey. Lights are already on. You're probably just having some trouble waking up. I'm gonna take your hand, okay?

[There's movement in front of him - below him - and Mikleo finally manages to drag his gaze over to look properly at Sorey.

He looks, but he doesn't see. He listens, but he doesn't hear the words. Instead-

a cloud of malevolence; it pools at their feet like a poisonous lake, oozing from the walls, drawn into their bodies in wisps and threads, a cold chill running through his body, leaving him trembling in his chair.

a voice; echoing through the air, through his head, whispering promises of dark, of together, of power. "I'm here". "We'll be together." "You're mine." "It's okay."

a hand; reaching for him, pulling him in, drawing him close as he changes, he changes and he's a monster, they're both monsters and it's okay. it's not okay.

blood; it's on his tongue, again, again, so often he's tasted it now and no matter how much he swallows there's always more. it tastes good. he's going to be sick.

eyes; they're gone, they're gone again, his mouth is gone and he can't do this again, he can't lose him again, he can't--]

...Ah--

[It starts out as a gasp, changing abruptly to a panicked, wordless cry, as Mikleo rips his hand from Sorey's grasp and lunges forward, slamming into him with the full weight of his body and knocking them both to the ground. He's still weak and clumsy like this, but he has just enough strength to wind his hands around Sorey's wrists, pinning them against the floor, using the press of his own body in an attempt to hold the other down. His eyes are wild and frightened as he stares at Sorey, shivering feverishly.]

It's okay. It's okay! I'm here. Don't fall, Sorey. Don't fall...

[Mikleo's expression is too blank, too vacant and Sorey has his other hand lifted halfway to his cheek when Mikleo gasps and throws himself at Sorey. The strength isn't much but he's knocked off balance as Mikleo puts his whole weight behind it, bringing Sorey to the ground hard enough that his head knocks against the floor.

Mikleo gets his hands around his wrists and pins him while he's stunned, but with Mikleo's lack of strength it's nothing that Sorey couldn't easily break. What stops him is the sheer horror in Mikleo's trembling voice, the chattering of his teeth.

Don't fall, Sorey. Don't fall...

Is what he's seeing- is he seeing that when he looks at Sorey...?]

M-Mikleo, [Sorey starts, his own fear creeping up as he remembers dark, hollow emptiness, bleeding and raw like an infected wound, fill it up plug it up and has to struggle against the sudden rise of bile in his throat. He swallows it down and shifts beneath Mikleo, ever so slightly.] Mikleo, I'm not. It's okay, Allen purified me. Can't you feel it?

[Mikleo doesn't respond, as if the words pass right through him, deaf to any attempt at reassurance. There's no mouth with which to speak, no eyes to meet his own; he stares down at Sorey but his gaze merely drifts over his features, searching for something that, to him, isn't there anymore.

it's too late, it's too much, how did we let it happen again!?

Abruptly he flinches and almost jerks away, feeling the malevolence overflowing the room, watching it cloud around them through his peripheral, and while he's just aware enough to recognize that his own body isn't changing, it doesn't snap him out of the illusion. Still, he refuses to back down. His fingers tighten around Sorey's wrists and he lifts his head, raising his voice to desperately shout towards where he thinks the hall ought to be.]

Lailah! Lailah! Anyone-- help!!

[Is it possible for a sub lord to call for the Prime Lord through their connection? Because he's trying now, frantically, to reach out to her. She's usually close by these days, awaiting her transfer- surely she'll come. With Lailah's help, they can protect Sorey this time, they can fix it before it gets worse, they can save him...!]

[Lailah's on her way to check on the two boys. As much as they've been trying to act like things are normal again, all of them know that it's still not quite as it used to be. Not that it will be for quite some time.

She's walking down the hall when she hears Mikleo screaming for her and a tug at her soul that says her Sub Lord believes himself to be in danger. The rest of the way to their room is a blur as the next thing she knows, she's in the room and looking at Mikleo pinning Sorey to the ground. Lailah sees the look in the water seraph's eyes, recognizing it as something she's seen in soldiers and, sometimes, her own former Shepherds and Squires. Like he's seeing something else that they're not.

Carefully and calmly, their Prime Lord walks over to kneel in front of her Sub Lord while also glancing at Sorey for any injuries. Primarily, her eyes are on Mikleo, and she remembers how others would have vivid flashbacks to a battlefield or see enemies when there really aren't any. Perhaps he's seeing Sorey's fall again? Given how the younger seraph is holding him down....]

Mikleo, it's okay. [Lailah keeps her voice steady and calm.] I know it looks bad, but everything will be fine. Both of you will be fine.

[She places a gentle hand on Sorey's forehead, a small gesture of reassurance and comfort. She's sure that this is shocking and stressful for her Shepherd.]

I'm okay, [Sorey tells her, because he's...not okay, but not the one in most need of help right now. He hasn't tried moving since he figured out what Mikleo is seeing, afraid that he'll frighten him even more into trying to attack or worse, into panicking and hurting himself in a scramble to get away.] I'm okay, I'm- I don't think Mikleo can hear me. I think he-he sees the hellion.

[Mikleo is in too deep at this point; he doesn't even see Lailah when she arrives. He'd reached out to her and was listening for her, though, so when she calls his name he turns towards her, searching through the dark clouds to try and find her. Okay? How can she say that? How can she be so calm? He's right here and Sorey's--

--Sorey's not... doing anything. Hasn't done a thing since they hit the ground.

He's never seen a hellion so docile before.

He turns his gaze downwards again, seeking features, a familiar face, some indication of reality. It's hard. It's hard to look at Sorey like this, and as much as he tries, he can't see anything else. His chest hurts, everything's constricting, and he feels faint. He almost hears a voice, but it's muffled, as if coming from some great distance- too far to make out the words, too faint to be recognizable.]

...I... but I can feel malevolence, there's... it's everywhere, don't you...?

[She doesn't. He realizes it even as his own words trail off into silence, and it's that stab of logic that forces him away, extracting his fingers from around Sorey's wrists one by one and slowly crawling backwards until he's no longer touching the helli- ...Sorey. He stares down at the floor rather than either of them, seated on his knees near the opposite wall, one hand lifting to press against his chest, fighting against the dissonance between what he sees, what he feels, and what he's hearing.

It's okay.

The malevolence is crawling, soaking, bleeding into them.

It's okay.

Like a weight on his chest, clawing at his soul.

It's okay.

Sorey is-- Sorey is--]

[Lailah nods in acknowledgment of what Sorey says, though she keeps watching Mikleo. It'll be really bad if he accidentally hurts the Shepherd before coming out of his hallucination.

She watches him crawl off of Sorey and she puts a hand on Sorey's shoulder. Lailah casts a small healing arte on him, just in case there's any bruising. She knows he's not okay emotionally, but....]

Stay here for a moment. Let's see if we can help break down what he thinks he's seeing.

[Lailah keeps her voice down so that Sorey is the only one who can hear what she's saying. Then, she moves over to sit in front of Mikleo. Very carefully, the fire seraph reaches out to touch the back of his hand.]

Sorey is okay, Mikleo. He's still pure and so are you, and I'm still here. [A pause.] Can you see me, Mikleo?

[Sorey didn't even notice the ache at the back of his head until Lailah's healing arte washes it away. Must've been when he was tackled.

Mikleo backing off should be a good sign, but all Sorey wants to do is follow after him. They've been nearly inseparable ever since he came back, almost always within arm's reach whenever Sorey was in the room and whenever he left, he checked his comm for messages obsessively. It's surprisingly not unusual; whenever one of them was feeling down (or sick, in Sorey's case), they were never very far from each other.

This is just- just more of the same. It's more of the same. If he tells himself that instead of fixating on how Mikleo must be remembering what it was like to be a dragon, with Sorey ordering him near and far, burn this, destroy that, Mikleo, it's all right, I've got you-

Sorey shakes his head hard and pushes himself up on his elbows, pushing back until his own back hits the wall and dragging his legs up to hug them and keep himself from scrambling over to Mikleo. Let Lailah handle it. Let her calm him down. He'll only make things worse-]

-for now, just for now, [Sorey whispers to himself. Don't fall back into that hole. It's his duty to stay pure, now more than ever. Keep a grip on himself, don't deny his feelings but don't wallow in them. Mikleo needs him to be strong and steady. Mikleo needs him.

Mikleo needs me.]

[He feels that soft touch against his hand, and he inhales sharply and jerks it away at first; he hadn't seen it coming, and it frightens him once he realizes the implications. He knows something's not right, now. He can feel the malevolence swelling around him, his limbs sinking into it like quicksand, but his legs are pressed against solid ground, and when he leans back, he can recognize the sensation of a wall resisting his push. The contrast is both jarring and disorienting. Even the hellion- no, Sorey- even he's disappeared into the mist now, and while the image seizes him up with terror just like before, when Sorey had fallen, he struggles to keep himself from panicking about it, mentally clinging to Lailah's voice, Lailah's words.

Sorey is okay.

Sorey is pure.

We're both--]

I can't... I can't see anything.

[Cautiously he lifts his trembling hand, reaching out towards her instead of pulling away. Maybe- if he has some connection- if he can feel instead of just using his eyes-]

Wh-what am I looking at?

[It's not real. It's not real, it's not real.]

[Lailah feels her heart clench when he jerks his hand away like that, but it confirms, along with his words, that he just can't see her. When Mikleo reaches back, instead of taking his hand immediately, she gives him warning.]

I'm going to take your hand in both of mine, okay?

[Gently, she follows through with her words. One hand is in his and the other clasps the back of his hand.]

You're looking at me, in your room. Sorey is here, too, and he's okay. If you need to close your eyes, then do so. There's no shame in that.

[Lailah gets an idea on helping to calm Mikleo's rising panic. Perhaps helping him focus on a fond memory will be beneficial.]

Tell me about the first seraphic arte you mastered.

[With her word of warning, he braces himself for the inevitable touch, and while it's still a surprise when it comes, he doesn't flinch away this time. He allows his hand to rest in hers, letting it go limp so her hand is all that's holding it in the air. It doesn't fall, so that means it's real. The malevolence swirls around his arm, dark and foreboding, but there's a warmth enveloping his fingers that hadn't been there before.

Drawing in a slow, shaken breath, he follows her advice and closes his eyes. Maybe, if he doesn't have to see it, he'll forget that any of it was there.

Instead he lets his thoughts drift to Lailah's question. His first arte...? His brows scrunch together, eyes still clenched, and he thinks back. Twin Flow had been his first real combative arte, and of course he'd learned to heal because Sorey couldn't keep himself out of trouble, but... the first time...

"Mikleoooooo, I'm so hungry..."]

When we were little... Sorey just turned five... I was starting to find my power, but I didn't know how to focus, yet. Gramps said to take my time, but I was so impatient.

[It had been so exciting, feeling that thrum of energy in his body come to life, something that had always been there, but mostly dormant until his mind was ready for it. He'd loved the feeling of strength moving through his limbs, at first wobbly and weak as a trickling stream, but over time, as he grew, it became a steady brook, a flowing river, a gushing waterfall--

He remembers the joy and wonder in Sorey's eyes, back then, each and every time he pressed his hands together and made them come alive with light.]

We found the ruins by accident. We weren't supposed to be playing there... the ground wasn't steady enough, and the walls were falling apart. Mason said there were too many prickleboars, and they were always aggressive that time of year. There was a hole in the wall...

["Sorey, be careful!"

"I just wanna look."

"You're gonna fall in."

"I am not! Hey, come here, I can see--"]

We fell in.

["I told you."

"You fell, too!"]

It was too high up... we couldn't climb it. And the sound wouldn't carry- all it did was echo through the chamber. We thought we'd find a way out if we explored it, but every path just took us deeper and deeper inside.

["We already came this way."

No, no, that glyph is different. See? It says go left."

"That's because we're on the wrong side of the room this time..."]

We were lost. It was hours before anyone found us. I was fine, but Sorey... it was too musty under all that stone, the air was dry... we didn't have any supplies. I... I don't think I really understood how different the needs of humans are until that day.

["The air smells kinda different this way... maybe we should try here? ...Sorey? Hey, Sorey!"]

[Lailah listens to him attentively. It's nice to get a story about his and Sorey's childhood, if she's perfectly honest. She gets to learn more about them and gains a better understanding of who they are. They're stories that Lailah never gets tired of hearing.]

He needed water, didn't he?

[Her tone is gentle. That's a lesson that not all seraphim find easy to truly understand.]

[Mikleo hesitates, debating whether or not to try opening his eyes, then decides against it. What Lailah is doing, it's working. The warmth is spreading slowly from his hands down the length of his arms, the chill of malevolence that he knows isn't real fading slowly over time. But if he focuses on it, if he breaks the spell of peace that his closed eyes are creating within himself, it could undo it all in a second.

So he nods at her question, swallowing back his fear, and continues.]

He needed water. And he didn't ask, not really. He knew I was having trouble with it. But I thought... this is something I can do. I couldn't break the walls down, like an earth seraph. I couldn't keep him warm, like fire. I couldn't help him breathe with the wind. But this...

[His shifts his hands within Lailah's, forming a small cup with his palms and fingers curled.

"Don't push yourself, okay? I'm fine!"

"I can do it. I can do it!"]

I don't even remember what the words were. I don't know if they mattered. I just kept saying it, over and over. I asked the water to come, and...

["Mikleo..."

"Shh! I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Mikleo! There's water!"

There's warmth all around him, winding around his chest, soothing his trembling limbs, dragging his fear gently from the depth of his soul. Suddenly he exhales, the sound halfway a gasp, and he feels it: the light in his hands, rising to life so briefly and then bursting like a shattered lightbulb. His hands are cold, wet.

There's water.]

...S... Sorey?

[It's barely a whisper. He lifts his head, eyes still cautiously closed, but he's facing the direction where he'd last seen Sorey, rather than towards Lailah.]

[Sorey remembers that, though not with the clarity Mikleo does. He remembers falling in and he remembers that incredible mural they found, but toward the end there things get hazy. He was thirsty but he'd just told himself just a little further, they're almost out, they could make it...and then his footsteps got more and more sluggish and he'd sat down suddenly, sure he couldn't walk anymore.

Mikleo had insisted. His face had gone red; he'd even gotten kind of sweaty, just trying to make it work and Sorey was worried he'd hurt himself, but there, in his hands, was water.

And now, in his hand, is water.]

I'm here, [Sorey calls from the wall, though he doesn't move closer. Mikleo's eyes don't fix on him so he's probably still hallucinating, and Sorey is reluctant to make things worse by triggering something bad. He does unfold from his seat and push himself up, back against the wall, waiting for a sign that it's all right to move closer. His hands twitch with the desire to go to Mikleo's side, to hold him and make sure he's all right, that his skin is still cool, his heart isn't racing.] I remember that; Gramps said you saved my life.

[Mikleo starts at the sound of Sorey's voice, his breath catching, and the water spills from his hands to soak his knees and the floor below. He doesn't notice. He'd heard Sorey's voice. Sorey's voice, not distorted by malevolence or missing entirely. He's there. He remembers.

It wasn't real. It's just as Lailah said. Everything's fine.

He still feels cold, so he doesn't trust his eyes yet; he leaves them closed, too scared to risk a glance lest the hallucination drive him deeper instead of allowing himself to be drawn out of it. His hands clench briefly into fists, and then he lifts one of them, open and reaching out to Sorey. His other hand finds Lailah's again, holding it gently but firmly; she's still his center, here, but he needs Sorey, too. If they're both here with him, if he can feel them instead of going only by what he sees, then surely his eyes will come around as well.]

I hear you. I can hear you.

[The relief in his voice is palatable, at the same time overwhelmed and urgent. He's almost there.]

Here... come here...?

[Sorey's already moving by that first syllable of Mikleo's request. He stretches out his hand, touches his palm and fingertips to Mikleo's, then turns them so he can lace their fingers together. Sending Lailah a worried sidelong glance, Sorey kneels down beside her and clutches Mikleo's hand as tightly as he dares.

He doesn't want to tell him 'I'm here' or 'It's okay.' Not when they were some of his last words to Mikleo, not now, while he's like this, suffering. He doesn't need to say it anyway; Mikleo's hand is in his and that's all they need, right now.]

[Lailah will hold his hand in both of hers. She doesn't miss the worried look Sorey gives her. Her response to it is a reassuring smile, silently telling him it'll be okay.

Although, it's also clear to her that Mikleo isn't out of the woods just yet. At least he isn't panicking anymore.]

Did either of you have a favorite fairy tale when you were younger?

[The feel of Sorey's hand against his own is familiar; he'd known it as a child, been raised alongside it, held it more frequently the last several days as they'd grown accustomed to one another's presence again, to being together, to being alive. By now he knows every callus, every old scar. His body knows this hand, and his heart knows it as Sorey's.

His fingers curl around Sorey's, exhaling in quiet relief, and he lets their company drape over him like the comfort of a warm blanket. Lailah's presence and Sorey's domain push against the malevolence he'd felt cloying at his soul, and slowly, he starts to relax again.

He allows Lailah's question to distract him, focusing on the memories of home, of their childhood, instead of the nightmare he'd let himself fall into. A fairy tale...?]

There was one I remember... a water seraph who lived by the sea grew up watching a human boy who played on the beach. He had a little resonance, but only enough to hear her voice, so she sang to him every day. Over the years he became a man, and she fell in love with him. The seraph loved so deeply that she was afraid malevolence would ruin her if she lost him, so she forged an oath within herself to become human, to live and die by his side. But the price of her oath was her voice... so the human never knew it was her.

[Even reciting it now, he couldn't say for certain what had drawn him to it. There were some parallels, but they were weak at best- he, a water seraph, growing up with Sorey, but as a child he'd never feared that Sorey wouldn't know him. The loss of his resonance hadn't become a real danger until they'd faced Heldalf that first time.

He could sympathize with her plight, so perhaps that was it. He can recognize the ache of knowing that humans are mortal, finite, and that loving someone isn't the same as saving them. Life has never failed to remind him that he's immortal and Sorey is not.

And yet, here they are, holding hands and soothing his fears because he'd been the one to die first.

"It was supposed to be me-! I’m the human!"]

...Gramps said an oath like that was impossible, though. He never liked that one.

["A human should strive to become more like the seraphim, not the other way around. Be careful with stories like that, Mikleo."]

Ahhh, I remember that one! [Sorey doesn't have to inject the cheer that enters his voice by force this time, because he'd been hoping Mikleo would mention that one. It was a sad story, so he hadn't quite liked the ending as much as Mikleo had, but they'd been so excited to find a fairytale where a human and a water seraph that it hadn't mattered.

Sorey squeezes Mikleo's fingers again before slowly unthreading them, then turning Mikleo's hand between his own to start massaging his palm, gently pulling on his fingers to stretch the muscle. Mikleo did a lot of delicate work with his hands and while he didn't really hurt them, sometimes they would stiffen up. He didn't let Sorey do this often but Sorey knows, can tell by his face, how much he loved it when he would.]

We would act out different endings to the story sometimes, remember? We had to go do it in the woods because if Gramps found out we'd really catch it. But there was that one time where we became good pirates together. We saved art and books from bad people who took them away and delivered them to museums. And it didn't matter if you couldn't talk, because we were still happy together.

Oh- and there was that one time, where you wanted to play the human and I played the seraph. But I can't sing, so we had to change it that the seraph would recite ancient texts because that was what I could do. [Sorey smiles more to himself than for Mikleo, thumbs pressing gentle circles into the heel of his palm.]

Edited 2016-10-24 04:47 (UTC)

[Mikleo frets for a moment or two when Sorey shifts their hands, thinking he might be withdrawing, but once he recognizes what's actually happening he relaxes again, feeling foolish. Of course he wouldn't let go- not now. Not with them still sorting each other out. He leans in as Sorey gently pampers his fingers one by one, not objecting for once, just accepting the kindness for what it is. He listens, his lips curving into a tentative little half-smile, and slowly nods his head.]

I remember. I remember all of that.

[It's easier to think of it now, with Sorey here and audible enough to be the same reassuring presence he's always been once again. It's easy to let the memories override his fear and help him forget the feel of malevolence. He thinks it might be safe to open his eyes again, but... still, he hesitates. He doesn't want to break the safety of what they have right now.]

That was the time we spent days on the same version of the story, piecing it together like some elaborate play we were writing. Melody didn't mind the story, so she tried to teach you how to sing, but you had trouble hitting the right notes... she said you were better with your hands, anyway. That was when she found that old poetry book for you, wasn't it? Your first one.

Oh man, I was so excited. Getting new books was the coolest thing. [Since it was difficult to come by them in the village and all. Occasionally someone from the village would go out and come back with supplies that Sorey needed but couldn't get from the wilderness around them, and every once in a while they'd return with a book he and Mikleo hadn't yet read.] We were so worried about breaking the bindings whenever we shared them, but we didn't want to read alone so we always squeezed together on the floor.

[Sorey rubs Mikleo's hand, then presses it between his own, folded as if in prayer. He closes his eyes and feels out his bonds with Lailah and Mikleo, stronger for their immediate presence; Lailah, flickering and warm, a banked fire pouring comfort into him all the way to his bones. Mikleo's cool, calm serenity, a feeling Sorey had always thought he'd had around him but had never been able to pinpoint until he made the sublord pact with Lailah. Seraphim. Personifications of the great elements of the world.

His friends.

His loved ones.]

I'm okay, [Sorey murmurs, and takes Mikleo's hand to fold it over his chest, above his heart. His heart had beat as a hellion, he's sure, since underneath it all he was still alive, but it had been a distant and unimportant thing. Sorey hadn't realized how important his heartbeat was until Mikleo fell asleep to the sound of it.] You're okay too, right?

[Mikleo doesn't move or respond for a long, long moment, breathing in, breathing out, allowing himself to at last feel the difference between what he'd experienced since Sorey walked in the room and now. He can feel the gentle thump-thump-thump of Sorey's heart under his palm. He can feel the soothing warmth of the domain surrounding him. He can feel the familiar, calloused touch of Sorey's hand over his own. He can feel the weight of Sorey's words, the hope and support in his quiet question.

There's no malevolence. There never was; it was all a cruel illusion, and he fell for it. Maybe he ought to feel foolish, but... in truth, all he feels is relief.

He holds his breath and opens his eyes, and the room is his own again. Sorey's in front of him, holding his hand, his eyes full and bright, his body whole and pure, just like always. A tremor passes through his body, and his hand clenches beneath Sorey's.]

I'm okay. I'm okay.

[Yeah Sorey can't really hold back anymore. Sorry if this is startling, but Sorey is going to lunge forward and tackle Mikleo, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and burying his face in his neck.

This can't be forever. Mikleo can't suffer from this sort of thing forever, he won't survive it, he won't survive Mikleo being afraid or in pain like this for the rest of his life.]

[Whether it's startling or not - and it is, a little - Mikleo doesn't flinch or pull away. He's just as glad as Sorey, and it's only due to his physical weakness that he's slow to return the embrace. He clings back as tightly as his hands can grip, closing his eyes and carding his fingers through Sorey's hair, trembling but grateful.

If this is his fate, then as unfortunate as it might be, he'll endure. It's enough that he's not alone.]

U READY TO GO EXPLORING??? ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Edited 2016-10-09 23:25 (UTC)

Who is that little man?! How'd you do that

its us on an adventure ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

it's an emoji! u can do it too!!

I LOVE THEM.

Oh, but, I don't know if I can go today. You know, Mikleo's not really up to moving around yet and I really don't think I can leave him by himself.

oh well ok!

[He gets it; Allen was down for the count for a while, after all.]

u can ask him maybe! or tomorrow. im def gonna keep texting u every day until u come with me

[lmao ok but the problem here isn't MIKLEO]

Mikleo would
probably be completely fine with it...

You know what? Let's go! Let's go tomorrow morning!

!!!

YES

TOMORROW MORNING BRIGHT AND EARLY

ILL SEE U THEN

Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

OKAY

SHOW ME HOW TO MAKE SOME FACES

I WILL

WE'LL DISCOVER THE PLANET AND EMOJIS (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

SOREY

sorey did uhear a message in yoru head and like

just suddently knew a word

I did! And let me tell you, it is REALLY hard to transcribe something when you don't know the language except for one word.

WELL UR IN LUCK

allen and i have ben trying to gather up words, we have af ew so far but it still doesn't make much sense

whats your word??

Kiskhan. Means 'butcher.' Or 'a butcher,' I think an identifying particle is included.

Is this gonna work if we don't understand the grammatical structure of the language?

idk but we gotta try right?

and wow you got a morbid 1

[There's a pause as he jots it down, looks at all the other words and tries to figure it out... but oh yeah, right, Sorey's trying to do it too. Oops.]

oh right the other words are:

yesui = 'asleep' or 'sleeping'
deseht = 'will never'
akun = 'cull'
sahat = 'you'
atuav = 'caught'
vissai = 'sister' or 'close female kin'

[Sorey was about to protest how morbid a butcher could be until he got the rest of those words. Yeah that is looking a lil bit morbid.]

That 'sister' word and 'caught' are right next to each other. 'Cull' and 'butcher' are near each other too.

Did you guys have any thoughts yet about what this means?

'cull' and 'butcher' are also in 2 separate sentences, tho yeah theyre pretty clsoe to each other

we still dont really know it still doesnt make much sense with the words we have

but we're trying to ask whoever we can for more

Right...so it'd be helpful to look at the contextual clues we had as well, just in case.

So...people reporting a strange compelling feeling, or a feeling like being 'filled up.' It looks like it varies but invigoration and a feeling like needing to stay are the most common, especially as you go deeper into the forest.

There's a shadow that shows up at night to watch. It's huge but tentatively not hostile, since it hasn't tried attacking yet. Could be that it can't, but I'm not so sure; I don't sense any malevolence off of it, anyway.

The ship is obviously downed, sent out an SOS so it wasn't an intentional landing. Similar to the Marvisa, maybe not the same but some identical deck layouts. I made a map of what we can tell so far, though I haven't gone any deeper since I wanted to be able to leave quickly. A deeper expedition log might be useful here.

Anything else?

the waystation above the planet gave me some info too

apparently the sos signal has been going on for a long time since other ships have passed by trying to get to it and to scavenge for ship parts

but for some reason most of the ships tend to crash on the planet even when they get near it, or if they do land safely, their ship gets wrecked beyond repair, and no one knows why it happens

this makes them vulnerable to space pirates or scavengers

thats why they try to warn people from going near it

also: the downed robots inside are the same as the ones we found on another ship thatw as like the marsiva

were you here for the maldua? we had these gumballs that we had to transport to them, and when we got there the robots helped unpack everything, but theyd shut down permanently if you poked them too much

I remember that. So that's what those parts scattered around are. They looked so old...

So how were all of our ships able to land safely when all the other ships have crashed?

thats the question isn't it?

maybe they or whatevers the source of the voice wants us to find the ship for some reason

like... whatever we find theres really important

Good thing it's being documented then.

And there's that shape from the forest watching us. It's huge and it seems benign. Maybe some kind of emissary of the planet?

The spiritual scavengers
always stop by old waystations with empty pockets
or boxes filled with empty, thick air

They don't scavenge items or metal like you and me
Memories fill each and every piece of cardboard
clinging to the edges and threatening
Threatening!!
to let go with a single whisper

The spiritual scavengers are fools
for memories cannot be wielded from scraps of steel.

Where did they go? They must have traveled the world
Only to realize, upon their deathbed -

The best memories cannot be stolen from the worlds.
It must be gathered from inside your heart and from the friends who surround you.

Edited 2016-10-22 07:23 (UTC)

If a soul whispers to your very essence
if a soul captures the energy that defines you
if a soul is that important

Then why does the universe re-capture the same few souls and
regenerate their cycle anew?

One lifetime can see the same stories told over, again and again.
Let them - let us go free. Break us from the cycle and tell the sun, the moon
That we have stories and we won't be afraid to find new ones among the rust and grime

He rises above the trees with beady yellow eyes,
piercing your armor and your soul without a single thought.
His breaths are mighty gusts of wind, propelling us from here and there
and when he stirs, you stop and think

Is he watching? Is he waiting?
The moon offers no answers, and you half-wonder
if the daylight masks the giant that slumbers under the earth

Edited 2016-10-22 07:32 (UTC)

I officially have no idea where any of those came from.

Can we pretend this never happened?

:(

Absolutely not.

This is your own work? Stefan, these are wonderful! [they don't completely make a whole lot of SENSE but stefan wrote them, so they're beautiful]

Thanks??? I just wish I remembered writing them.

Even by my standards, they're a little... off.

Were you...sleep-writing? That's a thing people do.

There was this one time I was trying to translate a passage, and I was like, SO tired. And when Mikleo found me next morning I'd written this whole scroll of stuff that was supposedly the translation, but it wasn't even close. I didn't even remember writing it.

No kidding? That's exactly how I feel right now.

I must've written them at some point, but idk when or why. Last thing I remember is trying to sleep, so maybe. It's more likely than an augment glitch.

That's a little bit creepy. And weird. An augment glitch that makes you write midnight poetry?

It makes no sense, right?

I'm not sure what's going on. I don't think it's anything I've been eating. The blood's richer than usual, but blood consumption usually doesn't induce short-term memory loss.

Edited 2016-10-26 01:30 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure most food isn't supposed to do that.

Do you have any backup blood supply you can use, and see if you feel any different? We don't exactly have any locals to question this time around, so we should be careful.

Thankfully, yeah. I've got some raptor blood left, so I'll switch for the time being.

I'm not sure if any hypothetical locals would know. In my experience, "vampire" isn't a universal species.

Maybe not, but whether you're eating the meat or drinking the blood, you're still consuming the same animal as I am, aren't you? You're not all that different.

[Akhi....

Stefan's so glad this isn't video. He's sorta-kinda tearing up right now.]

I never thought about it like that.
Thanks, Sorey. :)

I'll get some bloodwork down RN and let you know what I find. In the meantime, try not to eat anything raw or rare.

You got it! ( ᐛ )و

Oh also, Stefan, if you have a minute could we meet up? There's something I'd like to discuss.

Sure thing. Where would you like me to meet you?

Would the Interfaith Center be okay?

More than okay. I'll have your usual cup of tea ready. :)

[ah geez] Thanks, Stefan.

[It takes Sorey some time to get over there, but he doesn't keep Stefan waiting long. He jogs up the hallway before stopping just at the entrance, unbuckling his boots and leaving them at the door and heading over to the cushions to greet him.] Hey, morning.

[Stefan glances up from his journal (he'd been writing, as usual), gesturing for Sorey to join him.]

Morning, Sorey. [He grins, curling his legs up under him and setting his work aside so that he can bring a tray of tea forward. At this point, preparing tea might as well be one of Stefan's superpowers - and he even has biscotti to go with them.] How's it going?

[Sorey doesn't even know where Stefan found honey, but he's always got it there when Sorey takes his tea with him.] Honestly? Really great. Mikleo is feeling much better, and I even slept through the whole night a couple days ago! [He adds honey to what's probably already fairly sweet tea.] You okay? Aside from the weird poet spells.

[He stockpiles honey!! Or, more realistically, the vast majority of his credits go towards food whenever they're planet-side (thanks Spirit faction).]

I'm glad to hear it. [He reaches for his own cup - black tea with some powdered milk - and takes a sip.] Yeah, I think so. I'll check on the bloodwork tonight, see if it's the planet or the animals or maybe even me. It's too soon to tell.

It's not you, [Sorey tells him with all the confidence in the world. Not that he has grounds for that confidence, but because he doesn't want it to be true so it isn't.

Wow dang this tea is good. Sorey's only been an on-and-off tea drinker since he's usually too preoccupied to brew any for himself, but Stefan makes this stuff dang good.]

[Stefan stifles a laugh. God, he wishes he had half the faith in himself that Sorey does.]

We'll see by the end of the day. [He holds his cup in both hands,] So uh, what'd you wanna talk to me about?

[And this is where Sorey turns red, something that doesn't happen very often at all. He sets down his tea and shifts to kneel on the cushion properly, hands clenched in his lap.]

Well, I've just...I've been thinking. Do you remember, akhi, in the clinic, when I said I had nothing to call you in return?

Of course.

["I wouldn't want to forget that day." Stefan sits up a little straighter, his shoulders tensing as if he's bracing himself for the worst. He can't imagine that Sorey would rescind the nickname so soon, but he's not sure where this is going either.]

Did you find something you wanted to call me?

It's- well, I've- [He takes a deep breath, scrubbing his hands through his hair and fidgeting.] Um, so, back home, when a Shepherd takes on a Squire, they give them a True Name in the ancient tongue. -ah, I'm not asking you to be my Squire! That would be- it wouldn't work out, I don't think, for either of us.

But. I was thinking, a True Name is like...for seraphim and Squires, it's something a Shepherd can call them to- to show a certain level of trust, and familiarity and intimacy. [Ducks his head. Oh Lords his face is going to burn right off.] So I could come up with a name for you if that's okay...

[Y'Allah.]

More than okay.

[He sets his tea aside, just so he can reach out for Sorey's hand, or barring that, place his hand on the kid's shoulders. This is by far the kindest, sweetest thing anyone's ever offered him, and he's been around a while.]

Is there uh, is there a special process or anything I have to do?

[Absolutely holding hands. This is nice and anchoring. That look on Stefan's face helps a lot too; Sorey had worried it would seem presumptuous.]

Ah, no no. -well, actually it might help me find a translation for your given name if I knew its meaning.

Oh, um... [He has to think about it for a moment.]

Stefan means "crown or garland," and Alesci means "defender." My other last name, Salvatore, means "savior." As for my middle name... Yunus means "dove." Or well, it technically means dove, it's also the name of a prophet from the Qur'an.

[wtf that is so many names]

Stefan, are you royalty?

Not even close. My parents were wealthy, but most people traditionally have three names.

[so many...what......even alisha only has two and she's a princess...............]

Hmmm...well. I think for a good translation for your name- probably something like Seirend, or Hauveth. For the other part... [Peers curiously at Stefan before blushing and looking away again.] To be honest, I'd had this part picked out a long time ago. Nathyurec. Seirend works better for the grammar, so...

So how about Seirend Nathyurec? It means, uh, 'Stefan of the Gentle Heart.' Or, uh, since 'Seirend' isn't a direct translation of your name it'd be more like, "Victorious is the Gentle Heart."

Edited 2016-11-20 07:34 (UTC)

[Stefan's quiet for a couple of seconds, pulling his legs closer to his chest.] Sounds perfect.

[It also sounds too good to be true, because him? Gentle-hearted? Sorey hasn't seen his true face, or his true powers or - or the part of him he likes to keep under lock and key. He just hopes that if that day ever comes, he still deserves the name.]

Thank you. You put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?

[Stefan's face definitely doesn't say that he thinks it's perfect but Sorey just smiles to himself, not offended, and mirrors Stefan's posture.]

I tried to. I'm not a seraph so I can't speak from experience, but from what I've heard, True Names don't always seem like they fit. My Gramps told me, sometimes a True Name is a goal, or what the heart cries out for, or even how other people see someone. Nobody really knows how it's decided what it'll be.

[He remembers what you told him in the clinic, dude. That definitely weighed heavily in his decision.]

What the heart cries out for...

[He hadn't been very specific, beyond well - beyond admitting that his behavior had once mirrored a hellion's. The Ripper was a hellion. Stefan doesn't ever want to venture down that dark and dusty road again.

His expression softens considerably.]

If that's the case, then it's one I'll wear with pride. [He's gonna wibble, he can already feel it.] Thank you, again.

[Sorey turns a little red at the attention. Coming up with the name and trying to explain it had felt sort of presumptuous of him and not a little self-important, but he'd wanted so badly to make it clear to Stefan what it meant for him to be called something in Stefan's own language. Being something of a linguist, it really gets him.] Don't mention it.

[He squeezes his knees and lets out a relieved sigh.] Anyway! Now we've both got secret names to call each other. Or not-so-secret. I think this is the point where we need to build a clubhouse and come up with a secret handshake.

It sure feels like it, huh....

[He picks up his mug again, if only because it'll give him time to mull over the clubhouses part. The Center is mostly complete, but there's plenty of space around the Iskaulit and - oh.]

Have I shown you the Fire Room yet? It hasn't gotten any use since Rei left, so. It could easily be our space.

[Okay he'd kind of been joking, but it's called the Fire Room,] Is there actual fire in it? Lailah would love that.

Not exactly. There's a gas stove-type thing? She wouldn't need a match to ignite it, but it's for reading fortunes and uh, I guess roasting marshmallows.

Oh, that kind of fire. [it's hard introducing normal things to a guy who flings fire from his hands to purify monsters]

[thinks] You know, I can ask Lailah if she knows how we can keep an eternal flame in there. She might know how to keep it safe too, so we don't have to worry about anything catching on fire that isn't supposed to.

Like me?

[He's gonna be blunt, magical fire - like the kind Sorey and Eithan wield - scares the living crap out of him. Give him a gas stove and a contained environment any day of the week.]

Because uh. Vampires and fire don't really mix.

Oh. Yeah, that would be good. We could also forego the whole 'fire clubhouse' thing and settle for something a little more tame. [He is still interested in making a special space for Lailah, though. He'll look into it.]

What? No, no way – if Lailah and you could get some use out of it, then you're welcome to it.

[The room really isn't used for much else. Except storage.]

Just, you know, lemme sit at a safe and comfortable distance.

I promise not to put any chairs too close to the holy fire. [Assuming there will be any.] Besides, I like meeting here with you. I know it's a room that's important to many other people, but this is where we first met face-to-face!

[Okay, now that Sorey's mentioned it, there had better be holy fire.]

You're just saying that to flatter me. [He laughs,] But no, you're right - this room's special. It holds way too many good memories for us to pick somewhere else.

[THE PRESSURE IS ON]

You made me tea for the first time in here! I don't even know what's in this, I just know what it's called. [Actually he's gonna have another cup if you do not mind, sir]

Oh! That would be Earl Grey - it's black tea with bergamot oil and sometimes silver tips, if I can find them. I usually drink it with milk, but if it's brewed fresh, you only need a little honey.

[He could go on for hours if he's not careful - this is a man who knows that he has a serious Tea problem.]

[This is the blank smile of a boy who followed maybe half of that.] That sounds like a lot of effort to prepare...I feel seriously spoiled right now.

It takes, like, five minutes. I promise, if I wanted to spoil you, you would know.

[To make his point even clearer, Stefan takes one very smug, satisfied, long sip of tea.]

Ohh, I see, I see.

-wait, does that mean you haven't spoiled me yet? What the heck!

I sure haven't. [Lies. Bold, blatant lies that are accompanied by yet another sip of tea.] See, that's the downside of being akhi, you'll have to wait until, like, Eid for the royal treatment.

Whaaat, [Sorey flops to the side,] that's months away. I would spoil you right now if you wanted me to! I would do that.

Is that so? [He finishes off his tea,] Then tell me, how would you spoil me? If I asked you right now?

Well, [Sorey vaults back up, and reaches for the teapot to fill Stefan's empty cup,] first I'd compliment you. I'd tell you that you make the best tea I've ever had, bar none. And I'd tell you that you're a wonderful friend and that I'm blessed to have ever met you, and that people like you who set up places for others to feel comfortable are what make this place bearable.

You'd - what?

[With all of his teasing and blustering, he hadn't bargained on sincerity. He can't even react in time, so he just holds his arm out in the world's weakest attempt to grab it back.]

Nuh-uh, that's not how this goes. You're supposed to say something like, "gee, akhi, I guess you'd have to wait and see," and I'm supposed to say, "that makes two of us," not this - [He groans,] This stupidly kind compliment.

Edited (Dialogue change ;;) 2017-01-25 22:42 (UTC)

Gee, akhi, I didn't mean to embarrass you, [says this little shithead as he holds the teapot out of his reach and then finishes pouring him tea. Oh did you think he didn't make note of how you take your tea? HE DID. And he fixes it just how you like, right now, and even puts a little tea biscuit on ur fuckin' plate.]

[That's it, he's never taking anyone's powers of observation for granted because he sure did witness those swift motions - two teabags, a few spoonfuls of powdered milk, and MA'AMOUL, his favorite food - and his face just keeps getting redder and redder.

Honestly, he's probably the same shade as the carpet.]

You sure? Cause you're putting me to shame right now.

[Okay relax, look, he's getting some of those cookies too because they're bomb af.]

You're just way too easily embarrassed. C'mon, this is totally normal for us! I tell you that you're kind and generous, I offer to clear the dishes when we're done and then you say...

Aw, thanks. I'd appreciate the extra help.

[He laughs, even though his face is still as red as the carpet.]

No, no - I know. I usually refuse because I say oh, that's okay, I can handle it.

You're a workaholic, [Sorey accuses lightly, like he's not just as guilty.] But with hospitality. A hospitality-aholic?

Really? [This is genuinely Brand New Information^TM. Someone's grown up on the (hardcore) Islamic school of hospitality.] I didn't think that was possible.

I've never had anybody memorize how I take my tea without even asking me before. I mean, aside from people I've lived with all my life.

But you're akhi. As a general rule? I know how my family likes their tea.

Yeah, but you knew by like, the third time you served me! I know you did.

[BUSTED.]

Uh... I've got good memory???

I believe that. [100% affection here] I appreciate it. [He loves you Stefan, truly. He does.]

I was kind of hoping you did. [He laughs, half-embarrassed.] But thanks, Sorey. I'll try to tone it down a little.

You don't have to do that! Just let me reciprocate. We'll spoil each other.

You got it. [He finally helps himself to that tea and - oh. Y'Allah. Sorey has it down to an art.]

Wow, actually - I'm not sure why I tried to stop you earlier. This is perfect.

[FIDGETS HAPPILY!! Sorey's never been particularly adept at this proper stuff, always relying on Mikleo for his manners. Tea with Syefan has never been a particularly stuffy affair, but there's something genuinely pleasing about getting his tea right.]

Thanks! I've been watching you really carefully to make sure I get it right. ...that sounded less creepy in my head.

[He shakes his head fondly.]

You say creepy, I say kind of awesome. Next time, uh, just let me show you the ropes. [He's so tempted to lean over and ruffle Sorey's hair. Good thing that tea's preventing him from doing so!!]

No can do, I like surprising you. [SO THERE]

hey quick question

you're a friend of Stefan's, right?

Yes I am. Is everything okay?

far as I know, yeah.

I just wanted to know if he sent you some poetry lately

Oh his poetry! [thank goodness there is nobody dying or dead] Yes, I got some! Stefan seemed really embarrassed but I liked it a lot. Did you get some too?

[yesssss good.]

He sure did. Clay, too. I'm trying to collect it all. Mind sending it my way?

What's it for? He didn't really seem like he wanted other people to see it. [stefan is his Bro but sorey can and has been enticed over to chaotic good before]

Even if he doesn't, this sort of thing should be preserved somewhere, don't you think? In case he changes his mind. I figure it can stay anonymous until then.

[He prefers to keep this kind of embarrassment secret as much as hilarious. He's not cruel, or at least not intentionally.]

[son are you talKING ABOUT THE PRESERVATION OF LITERARY WORK FOR THE SAKE OF HISTORICAL CONTEXT???

sold]

Good idea. Let me send it over! I think I can figure that out...

[s u r e that's exactly what he meant.....]

I can grab it next time I come over for engineering stuff if it's a hassle. just knowing it exists is good for now. thanks for the info (°⌣°)

Okey dokey! I'll see you soon! (وᐛ)و

[Sorey will find a package waiting for him! It's wrapped in the usual tradition with white and black foil and a blue ribbon on top. The box contains assorted cookies, both mundane (sparkly white and gold macarons) and magical (they change from vanilla to chocolate and back again as they are being eaten).

The largest gift is a thick, old botany book written in an indecipherable alien language. There is a leather book bag to go with it, and it is inscribed with several gently glowing blue runes that ward off water. There is also a letter.]

Sorey,

On Azeroth, this time of year is known as the Feast of Winter Veil. It is a time of celebration and thanks, but we also honor the personification of Winter itself, who is said to be an old man swathed in snow and ice. Perhaps he is something like a seraph? It is likely that he was based on one of the world's Watchers, who were blessed with a portion of the Titan's power before they disappeared from my world.

I thought it appropriate to include you in the celebration since I -- consider you a friend. You were also raised with a water elemental, so there is that to consider as well. A stroke of irony, perhaps.

There is a feast tonight on the Bishop, and you are very much invited. Bring whoever you'd like-- the more the merrier.

Warm wishes and all the best,
Belthazar Anor'thalion

[Belthazar is fretting a little, but he doesn't want to show it, so he's just going with voice for now.]

Sorey-- are you busy? I can call back later.

No no, I'm not busy! Everything alright?

Ah-- e-everything is fine! [Ignore the stutter.] There's something I would like to tell you and I would rather do it in person.

It's... what I couldn't tell you, before.

[Ah, right. The thing Belthazar had been particularly anguished over. Sorey feels suddenly and sharply guilty over having not made even the tiniest progress on armatizing with Mikleo.]

Okay, I have time. Want me to come over?

If you would. I have a little tea and snack for you. [He thought it might help ease the taste of disappointment.]

On my way. [Bribing him with food??? He'd come anyway, but thank you.

Sorey wastes no time making his way over to the Bishop, wondering what in the world it is Belthazar could tell him that he finds so damning. He knows Sorey's the one responsible for the destruction of those villages and for Mikleo's death, isn't he?

Then again, those things don't necessarily have anything to do with it. From the way Stefan had parted with his own secret, Sorey's swiftly learning that if there's one thing other worlds are never short of, it's prejudice.]

[Belthazar knows, but he's also aware that Sorey was not quite himself. He hopes it's the same mercy afforded to him if he ever goes mad or-- Light forbid-- Wretched.

He meets Sorey as he steps off the shuttle. Belth is smiling in a way that doesn't quite reach his eyes.]

Thanks for coming over. I know you know where my room is, but let me show you there anyway. [The scent of freshly-made cookies and tea is already palpable as soon as they step into the hall.]

I don't mind an escort. [Belthazar seems sort of...off, but Sorey lets it lie until he hears what he has to say. The entire hall smells heavenly, like when he and Mikleo and Gramps would sit down together on rainy afternoons and snack in the comfort of each other's company.] ...are you feeling okay? Better?

A little. I've had a couple of years to settle, though trying to reconcile that is still difficult at times. I know it was only a few days for everyone else. My memories are so very tangled sometimes.

[He holds his door open for Sorey. He doesn't take up much room despite having grown a few inches. But if Sorey came over for the Feast of Winter Veil, the new growth isn't a surprise.

He has a wooden breakfast table in the small floor space of his room, a recent addition or otherwise stored elsewhere. There is a full tea set resting on it as well as a plate of delicate vanilla meringues and berry scones. No magical flavor-changing today, but that's just as well. Meringues are finicky enough without bringing magic into it.]

Have a seat. [There's only two, you can't really pick wrong here.]

[It had definitely been a shock to see Belthazar a few inches taller, hair longer, looking both at once calmer more troubled than ever. Still, that he feels ready to talk about something now that had caused him so much anguish before...that's good, right?

He still feels a little like he's being placated a little with this spread though, like Belthazar is afraid Sorey is going to get up and storm out.]

This seriously looks amazing. You must be as good with sweets as Mikleo. [Sorey slides into a chair and picks up the teaspoon to fiddle with nervously.]

[DONT SIT ON THE FUCKING TABLE SOREY

The compliment makes him blush unexpectedly, and he has to cover his face with his hand to hide it.]

T-thank you. We have different strengths, really; his gelato is very good, and I am comfortable with baking.

[Belth sits primly on the other chair. He pours them both some tea and spills a little. Hands shaking. Tends to happen when you're terrified. He doesn't take a sip just yet, instead he just shoves his hands in his lap in hopes of looking less nervous. Obviously it doesn't work.]

I think it's best I start from the beginning. You've heard some of this story, but not all of it.

[He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he reopens them, he finds his determination again, at least for the moment.]

For ages and ages my people lived near something called the Sunwell. It was a font of pure mana, not unlike the kind that goes into spells, and it changed us as arcane magic is wont to do. Before I was a blood elf, I was quel'dorei, high-elven. We all were. We drew upon its magic to enrich our livelihood, to build a new kingdom, to change the land around us into one of eternal summer. It flowed through our veins and granted us power beyond measure.

Edited 2017-01-18 02:35 (UTC)

[buddy, it's still obvious you're blushing when you abruptly cover your face

Sorey just mops up the tea silently as Belthazar steels himself. He really is terrified; it pulls at Sorey's heart and he wants to reach across the table and offer Belthazar support, but keeps his hands to himself. Belthazar probably rehearsed this. It would be kinder to let him get it all out at his own pace.]

I'm guessing things didn't stay that way?

[Of course he rehearsed it. He's awful at public speaking.]

... No, it did not.

[He fidgets with the hem of his tunic as Sorey gently soaks up some of the tea. He doesn't like thinking or even talking about what happened, even though it was twelve years ago.]

When Quel'thalas fell, the Sunwell went with it. It was used in some kind of ritual and then completely destroyed. It left all of us cut off from its mana. Even as a child, I wasn't immune to it. I watched the hunger overwhelm people and turn them into-- zombies, almost. Children, just like me, withered and mad.

[He thinks Sorey might know where this is going, now.]

Edited 2017-01-19 00:29 (UTC)

Some high elves fled to the human kingdom, and they were only kept sane by immense willpower and prayer. But the rest of us, especially the young ones-- we had no choice. When our elders showed us how to... [He hesitates, visibly trembling now.] ... how to take mana from other things, we had to do it, even if it hurt them. Even if it drained them dry and killed them.

-- you see, right? I'm a monster. As long as I'm here, I have to feed on other people. Things like me shouldn't be allowed around seraphim at all, but I was just so happy to talk to someone, I...

[He covers his face and falls silent. It's a lot of information to dump on someone, and he knows that.]

[So that's what he'd meant.

Sorey has heard something similar; when Stefan had confessed to him in the shuttle, quiet and ashamed, that he drank blood to survive. Idly Sorey wonders if Belthazar has killed people by devouring their mana before he dismisses it as irrelevant. No matter what happened before, it's clear he doesn't want to do it any more.

Still, Sorey can't just respond as blithely as he did with Stefan before. If it was about something other than the very stuff that makes up his friends and family, he wouldn't be as cautious about this, but...]

You were lonely. ...I don't think you should punish yourself for that.

[Sorey sighs through his nose, pressing the heels of his palms down against his knees. Geez...he'd thought Belthazar was frightened he'd hurt Mikleo because of the malevolence, not...this.]

This...feeding on other people's mana. How are you doing it now?

I have... an arrangement with someone. He imbues a crystal with his mana and I draw it out of there, so there's no pain involved. [He doesn't mention who it is. It's probably not that hard to figure out, anyway.] But it wasn't always like that. I had to take some from Hiro, which was terrible.

This was not a problem until I disappeared from the Fleet for a few months. Before then, I had a gift-- a mana crystal that would recharge through solar energy. It was gone along with all my other belongings when I returned.

[wow that supremely really sucks a lot]

And I guess there's no alternatives or anything, or you'd probably have already been using them. I see.

[Sorey blows out a breath.] Okay. Uh...so, what are the options available to you? Just finding someone you can take mana from? [Because this is what you were worried about, right? Sorey will help you out man.]

[Yes. Yes it does.]

Someone or something. It doesn't hurt people to imbue items with a small amount of magical power, but it's hard to ask for and harder to teach them. Feeding directly from the source is a last resort; there's always a risk of losing control and taking too much.

[Especially with a creature of pure mana. Light, he can't even imagine what he'd feel. He'd probably be trippin' balls.

Sorey isn't screaming or throwing things at him yet, though he seems a little apprehensive. It's... something.]

The verdant planets we've found, though-- each one has had an abundance of mana. If only I could bring a little piece of that with me... I wouldn't have to do this anymore.

...I have a crystal from that shipwreck planet we were just at. [He's been hanging onto it for Edna's spot in the shrine, but if Belthazar can use it then of course Sorey knows where it's going.]

It might have mana in it, but I don't know if it'll replenish it like the rest of the planet did.

[None of the plants they took retained any magical properties...]

Hiro and I were working on the solar crystal before someone with great power offered to help me. I'm afraid of being indebted to someone like that a second time; he was not very trustworthy, even though he helped me. Black dragons always want something in return.

Oh don't worry about that either! Seraphim imbue objects with mana all the time; it's how they make physical things invisible to humans without resonance. I'm sure Mikleo, or even any of the others would be happy to do it for you! [THIS IS AWESOME, they can purify Belthazar and help keep him healthy! Finally, something they can actually make better!]

[Though he's fine with Eithan right now, having a backup seems like a good plan. And besides that-- a crystal from a verdant planet might be the critical first step to making a solar converter. He wishes he had Hiro's brilliant mind beside him. Perhaps none of this would have happened.]

... Are you sure? They wouldn't-- think I was a monster?

[What's the difference between him and a hellion?]

[Sorey fiddles with the tea service, to have something to do with his hands. Before he would've declared loudly that of course not, of course Belthazar isn't a monster no matter what. Although Sorey still believes that, having been a monster himself now he...he thinks he can understand, a little bit.]

Seraphim are incredible. They might seem really similar to humans or other mortal people, but their perspectives are so different. [Sorey picks up his teacup, just to have its weight in his hands.] They'll forgive just about anyone of anything. Even things that don't need to be forgiven.

[He believes Sorey, even if it's not a loud declaration. Belthazar's never had a real friendship with something older than him, something like an elemental. He's never been that special.]

... Thank you.

[He wraps his hands around his own teacup. They're small and shaky, but they seem to gain strength the longer they're still.]

I don't think I can tell them. I hate to put the burden on you, but I think I might fly into hysterics if I had to face Mikleo.

Edited 2017-01-22 22:42 (UTC)

It's okay. If you want me to tell them, just so they're aware, I don't mind.

[Sorey sighs and takes a sip. The tea's gone a little tepid but it's still good.]

I appreciate you telling me. I can definitely see now why it would worry you so much.

They might want to know why you ask them to imbue the same crystal over and over.

[His expression softens, making him look nearly fifteen again.] Thank you. Thank you. For not running out or-- screaming at me, I suppose.

[He doesn't realize the tea's gone lukewarm until he's taken a sip, too, and he makes a face.] Oh... goodness, it's all cold now. I can warm it back up if you'd like.

Sure, [Sorey hands over his teacup, because it's good but it's not like, amazing. Lukewarm tea can only do so much.] And, I mean...do you want my honest opinion? On your condition?

[Your condition, he says, like it's something manageable. Like it isn't a curse. Like they're talking about a rash instead of something that will destroy Belthazar if he lets up for just one instant.

He heats up the tea with a little bit of fire magic, hands it over.]

You can be honest. [Sorey's probably the only person who can be honest and not make it feel like an execution.

He moves onto his own teacup, and then finally the teapot, until everything is pleasantly warm again.]

I don't think you should define yourself with it. [Sorey accepts his teacup back.] It sounds like it's something difficult to live with, but to call yourself a monster because of it...no matter what's happened in your past, the present you is trying to find alternative methods of dealing with it, right? Ones that don't hurt anybody.

You seem more like a pioneer than a monster to me. Or like a doctor.

[He's never heard words like that before. It's true that Belthazar defines himself with it. But that's also how all blood elves are... it's in the name. Doing otherwise isn't something he's considered; he's a creature of his culture, through and through, and he still struggles with the outsiders are bad mentality sometimes.

Still, Sorey's words hit home.]

I... yes, but -- I could never be a doctor, or a healer. I only know how to destroy. I can make potions and salves, but it's not quite the same thing, and --

[He's fighting but only because he's embarrassed, and it's clear by looking at his face. Those are such huge compliments. He covers his mouth with his hand as if that might hide how much he's blushing.]

-- y-you speak so highly of me. I fear it is misplaced.

[Buddy your entire face is tomato red.] Maybe. I don't know anything about your world or your culture besides what I've been told, but it's still what I think. [tea sip] For me, people back home who make potions and salves are doctors and healers, so that's what you seem like to me.

[He stares down at his tea as if it might save him.]

I could never compare to my sister. She-- she had such healing hands. She taught me that I needed to take care of myself, to not always depend on magic. She was right.

[He closes his eyes.]

I want to be... an archmage. A master at magic and alchemy. Someone people listen to. If I am strong like that, I can make sure what happened to me never happens to anyone else.

I believe you can do it. [Sorey smiles a little, setting his teacup down and folding his hands in his lap, leaning forward.] You've got the motivation, you've got the know-how...all that's left is for other people to see it, right?

[His ears straighten in surprise.]

Y-you do? [boy Sorey has been complimenting him this whole time and yet Belthazar still doesn't get it through his thick head. He's not used to praise.]

I mean-- I... I still have a lot to learn, but I'm capable enough to handle myself! It's just a matter of study.

[Sorey nods along, though he knows fuck all about becoming an archmage.] Then you're definitely well on your way. I don't think it's unreasonable to state your goal proudly like that.

hey making sure you're not dead and/or maimed

hopefully the answer to both is no

I'm okay, I'm okay! Sorry, I'm using voice 'cause my hands are dirty. [There's some semi-rhythmic clinking going on too.] Are you okay? Did you get hurt?

It's cool. You working on fixing something up?

A little, but nothing that won't heal. Did you get boarded?

Yeah. Some of the crew subjugated the invaders by killing them mercilessly, proceeded to brand them and then shoved their bodies back into space as a warning. The raiders didn't like that so they went after us with a vengeance.

We've only got life support up right now. [So, yeah. He's fixing something up. And he's a little bit upset.]

[A long pause, punctuated by a low whistle.]

Well, shit. You guys need help with anything?

...do you have any duct tape?

...You know, by all rights we should, but somehow it never occurred to me to grab any at any of the places we've stopped.

Ahhh, it's okay. Didn't occur to me either. It's great for patching up the vents, but I can make do with other materials.

Is Nightingale okay? I haven't gotten to call her yet.

She's resting in the medical bay here, I'm keeping an eye on her. I'm sure she's going to be fine.

[Oof, that bad? Having four overprotective healers inhabiting your body can really screw with your perspective on the seriousness of injuries.] Do you need anything? I can step out for a little bit if you want me to bring you something.

Nah, I think I've got it taken care of. I'll let you know when she's doing a little better, though, if you wanna come visit.

Sure, I'll drop by. [He'll bring something, maybe Mikleo can make some ice cream. Even if things are hectic, people still need little comforts.]

...ah, Opal. I've been meaning to apologize to you.

[A pause, hesitant.]

For what?

From before. ...after Mikleo died.

You were trying to talk to me and I threw it in your face. I'm sorry.

...That was months ago. If I was still pissed about it, I wouldn't have called you.

I know, but I've spent time thinking and I realized I'd never apologized for it. Recently I've had trouble with a friend not opening up so it made me think of that. So.

[She pauses for a moment, then.]

You wanna do it now, then?

I guess you mean open up? [Not especially, but that's a habit he's been meaning to break.] ...if you don't mind listening.

No, to do the Viennese Waltz. [A small sigh.] Yes, to open up.

I wouldn't have asked if I minded.

[Like talking to Edna. It's kind of almost comforting.]

I told you all that stuff about malevolence in the Fleet, right? How it turns people into monsters?

I think so, yeah. Dark energy, negative emotion, that kind of thing. Right?

Right. And I told you about how it affects people, how I'm supposed to clean it up, etcetera... And you um, you asked me about what happened to make me turn into...that.

Make no mistake, it was my fault, but...

[Sorey pauses; this isn't just about him, but he cannot tell this to any of the seraphim, and if he doesn't get this out he'll explode.]

...I have...a friend. A seraph friend. Seraphim usually can bestow blessings onto places and people if they're worshiped, but they're not always necessarily...good ones.

[She already thinks it sounds like it was at least partially someone else's fault, but she's going to reserve that judgment until he finishes.]

So they gave you a blessing, I'm guessing?

No! No, he didn't even know he was- I was trying to help him.

This is so hard to explain.

Uh, I'd been adjusting poorly up until then, but I was still managing. But one day he'd gotten hurt, so we armatized- merged kind of, it's a Shepherd thing, so that he could heal up.

He's suffered a lot. But when I tried to take on some of his burden, I couldn't quite...manage.

I'm sorry, is this making sense?

So... You tried some weird mind meld shenanigans, but he was having a really bad day and you couldn't deal?

[opal no]

I...guess, yeah, like that. [But with about eight other factors included in that, but it kinda feels like he's blaming Dezel now that he's said it.]

Okay. Go on.

Whatever happened with that, it made it a lot harder to ignore the malevolence in the Fleet. I started worrying and gettimg upset over little things, and I kept everything to myself because I was scared I'd hurt my friends.

It was kind of all downhill from there. It's actually really...really simple. [Embarrassingly simple.]

[she's following along pretty well so far, but...]

There wasn't one big thing that pushed you over the edge and made... that happen?

Not really.

I got scared...I left, but it was already happening at that point. [Sorey sighs.] It would make more sense if something big had happened, huh?

Not really.

[He can't see it, but the shrug is obvious in her voice, somehow.]

I mean, little things pile up if you don't deal with them. It happens. Usually it doesn't turn you into a bloodthirsty monster, but it happens.

Back home, denial of your true self and your feelings is very dangerous. After what happened, I'm glad to see that's not something that applies everywhere.

It's dangerous. Just... Usually in a different way.

How does it affect you guys? Does it mess with your magic?

Hey - wanted to call sooner than this, but a lot happened. [ To put it incredibly mildly, sure. ] You okay over there? Need anything?

Eithan, yes, it's okay; we're all fine over here. I'm glad to hear you're alright. [Gods, he's so frazzled.] There's nobody too terribly hurt over here, but our ship's busted up. I've just got my hands full trying to patch her up.

[ He can tell! But he also can't blame him. Talk about a shitstorm... ]

Good, good - About everyone bein' okay, I mean. Not about the ship. That sucks. [ He sighs. ] It's pretty much the same story for us on the Blue Fish. We're all alive, but man, our ship looks like junk...

Yeahhh, Mikleo talked with Allen and he told me a little bit about it.

What happened? Did they go after you that hard for no reason?

I think it was just a lot of "wrong place at the wrong time," which sucks, but happens. Plus? No pilot, no communication. Bet that didn't help. Sure as shit meant there wasn't much on our radars.

[ audible SIGH. ]

How's Mikleo? He didn't get hurt, did he?

Mikleo's fine, but- You don't have a pilot? How does your ship fly? [Geez, no wonder they got jacked up]

[ OKAY GOOD. good to know Mikleo and Sorey are both fine. Yes good. ]

Weeee're... stuck in autopilot. For-fuckin'-ever. Can't do anything but follow the damn Marsiva.

Really? That's terrible! Gosh, no wonder you're not in good shape. Look, as soon as I get things under control here, if you still need engineering help I'm available.

Heh. Thanks, Sorey. I think we'll be okay - we've got Sokka, who's kickin' all kinds of ass at keepin' it all together, and everyone's pitchin' in.

You let me know if you need anything too, yeah? Even if it's just an extra pair of hands. Or a break! Breaks are important.

Haha, don't worry. I'm being very well taken care of. [He's got no less than three overprotective spirit friends popping inside of him and scolding him for not sleeping or eating enough every other hour.]

-You know what though? You should ask Lailah if she'd be willing to help you out once in a while with the piloting thing! I don't think someone has to be assigned to a ship to work on it, right?

[ Good - someone needs to make sure you're not gonna fall over... ]

Really? Lailah's a pilot? I didn't know that... That's awesome! But uh, yeah, I don't think it matters what ship we're assigned to. It's not like we forget stuff if we leave the ship, right? That'd be too weird.

Yeah, I'll have to ask her sometime! Been a while since I've talked to her anyway. It'd be cool to catch up.

She'd probably appreciate the conversation. Things probably get boring for her when she's in that pilot chair all day. [Though Lailah is one of the most patient people he knows so......probably not.] And she'd love to hear from you! A fellow fire-aficionado. [those are called pyromaniacs dear]

sorey he's in my lap

what do I do

What,?? Who's in your lap?

zaveid!!

[WHO ELSE WOULD DO THIS TO HIM

besides you]

REALLY???

...he probably just needs some affection. Pet his hair, that usually works.

what

it does?

Yeah he likes it. Give it a shot.

okay, thanks.

[can doubt be conveyed through text? because he's feeling it.]

[Either way, Sorey gives him a few minutes to try it out. It's kind of surprising that Zaveid jumped Mikleo for affection, but at the same time it really isn't at all.]

Well?

Edited 2017-02-24 05:30 (UTC)

[WHAT THE FUCK]

it does work!!

I'm glad. I'm really surprised he came to you like that though! I practically had to wrestle him into submission the first time he'd let me do it.

I was wondering why you knew.

[Is this a thing for them now? How long has that been the case? And why did Zaveid come to him, rather than Sorey?]

Maybe he's testing me?

I'm not sure, I don't think that's something he'd do. He probably just really does want to be close to you.

Ask him.

what!? I can't ask him!

What are you being all shy for, it's just Zaveid. Go on and ask him.

fine, fine

[AND THEN, A WHILE LATER]

I think we're okay.

[He doesn't know what else to say. Doesn't know what else he can. But that's what's important, right?]

[It's honestly the best news Sorey's heard in a while. He's been worried over their relationship, but this right after Zaveid transfers? This is wonderful.]

That's awesome ♡♡♡♡♡♡

IC CONTACT

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a suburb in wollongong apparently

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voice; some time in feb