IC CONTACT
...this is the neatest thing I've ever seen. I want one for home so bad.
-Right! This is Sorey, please leave me a message so I can get back to you!
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-Right! This is Sorey, please leave me a message so I can get back to you!
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...Zaveid. Hey. Hi. Everything okay?
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[Mikleo chimes in, distant and cranky,] Shut up, no I'm not.
Yes you are. Do you need me to come meet with you?
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When Mikleo's asleep.
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I can come to your ship.
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He must have guessed it right. Something precious has been destroyed.]
Okay. I'll meet you in the docking bay.
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I'll see you soon, Sorey.
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Mikleo actually gets annoyed and kicks Sorey out before he completely falls asleep, probably half because he's irritated and half because he knows how nervous Sorey has been about Zaveid. Don't come back unless you've talked with him properly, he'd ordered, shoving at Sorey until he got off the bed.
It's hard, seeing Mikleo like this. Lethargic, quiet...sometimes seeimg or hearing things not there, as if stuck in a dream.
Sorey's left with little to do but worry about him and worry about Zaveid as he waits in the cargo bay, sitting up on a crate, heels tapping gently against it as he swings his legs.]
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Not after the voicemail. Not after talking to Mikleo.
When he spots Sorey there's a moment of pause, but there's no fear. He saw the Shepherd in the hospital afterwards, he saw him weak and sad, and he saw him quiet and trying. It's enough, but he still feels tired, on edge, uncertain.
He has to get better, he thinks, stronger, above the pain and the hurt. He has to. ]
Yo, Sorey.
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Not like the hostility from before when Zaveid jumped them on Rayfalke or outside Pendrago. This is different. Hesitant.
Sorey doesn't stand up, though he looks up from his laced up fingers nervously. Maybe being down here will help put Zaveid at ease.] Hi. ...your hair is coming back out.
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Sure. One of the perks of being a seraph, didn't you know?
[ The downside is, of course, that you have to keep cutting it, but... ]
I think I might miss the short look - what do you think?
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He sobers, hands still clasped and pressed between his knees as he tries to make eye contact.]
...you sounded like you had something you need to say.
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The time for jokes is over, then.
Zaveid breathes out, lifting his head and pursing his lips before he nods, once. ]
I want you to tell me why you want to be the Shepherd.
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It's not out of guilt, [he begins, because he knows that for certain. It's not as if he's become the Shepherd again to try and right his wrongs, or to make up for what he'd done.] And when I first agreed to this in Ladylake, I really didn't know what I was getting into. Lailah warned me, but the reality of it just didn't sink in. Now...
[Sorey takes a deep breath and lifts his head to meet Zaveid's eyes again.] Now I truly know what it means to be a human being. [His hands clench between his knees to the point of pain as he tries to keep them from shaking.] I'm...I'm flawed. I'm capable of anger, and sadness, and loneliness. And I'm capable of ego. Everything that can make a human being generate malevolence, I have the potential for all of that inside of me.
I want to be the Shepherd because I- I want to accept all of myself. I was raised by seraphim, and...and sometimes I can't understand humans. But I'm also a human being, and now I know the pain and fear they experience when they feel trapped. I want to do everything in my power to make the world livable for both. So humans can live without that fear, and so seraphim can live without that corruption.
[Sorey bows his head.] I'm sorry it's such a selfish reason. Sometimes it feels a little like being torn between two families, but I don't want there to be sides. To be an 'us' and a 'them.' If there's a way to bridge the gap between the ideals of seraphim and the ideals of humans, I want to spend the rest of my life searching for it.
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For now, he just stands and he listens.
Tilting his head up, Zaveid nods, once, sharply. ]
You've always been human, Sorey. Sure, you were raised with us seraphim but that doesn't change what you are in your heart. I think you forgot that along the way. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just... You gotta know who you are, in your core, otherwise you're never gonna be able to keep yourself safe and happy.
[ His expression softens before he lifts his hands, shrugging. It's almost shockingly familiar. ]
C'mon, everyone's a little selfish in their own way. You've got nothin' to worry about.
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Thanks... It's just a hard thing to come to terms with. [Sorey hesitates before he scoots over on the crate in a clear invitation. He's still not sure if Zaveid is wary about being so close to him and he doesn't want to force it, but he wants Zaveid to know it's there, if he wants to try.] Can I ask you something?
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[ Because he's barely a dot in the lifetime that Zaveid has lead, and that's both terrifying and comforting. He simply has to accept it as his lot in life, but... ]
You just did.
[ Been spending too much time with Lailah? Maybe. ]
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Have you ever resented humans?
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[ The question makes him pause and he considers, for a moment, before he shrugs. ]
Sure, maybe, once. But then I grew up and I realised that you humans are like little kids to us seraphim. You don't get much time to grow up, so there's no point resenting you for things you can't control, right?
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I see. I suppose I can't argue with that.
[Sorey slides down from the crate.] Have you talked to Mikleo yet? He was asking after you, when he first came back.
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